Aubrey O’Day Playboy Tease By dave January 31, 2009
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Rumor is that this is a leak of Aubrey O’Day’s upcoming Playboy spread. Which, of course, sent me diligently searching the web for the rest of it. I was unsuccessful, but did go through an entire box of tissues.

Rumor is that this is a leak of Aubrey O’Day’s upcoming Playboy spread. Which, of course, sent me diligently searching the web for the rest of it. I was unsuccessful,…

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Leather And Lace Party Strangely Leather-and-Lace-less By dave January 31, 2009
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When I heard “Leather and Lace” party, I think I got all overly excited and had to change out my Spongebob Boxers for the ones with a bow over the fly that say “This Package Is For You.”

And although Kim Kardashian, Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra were attending, there was a disturbing lack of: 1) Leather, 2) Lace, 3) A logical reason for me to wear my fancy underpants.

When I went to bed, looking at the mirror I have installed on the ceiling, I read my own underoos: “This Package Is For You.” Then, I cried myself to sleep.

When I heard “Leather and Lace” party, I think I got all overly excited and had to change out my Spongebob Boxers for the ones with a bow over the…

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Britney Spears Gets A Restraining Order By dave January 31, 2009
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For every Britney (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn).

Britney Spears is pissed at her old flings Sam Lutfi, the guy who was her “manager,” if manager means drugging your client and controlling her, and Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzi with the landing strip facial hair who smells like vagina in my mind. The Spears conservatorship has filed a restraining order against these two.

One of the lawyers in the case filed a declaration saying over the past month she received “multiple telephone calls and text messages from Lutfi.” She says Lutfi wanted to set up an urgent meeting to “speak with Mr. Spears and me with regard to what he claimed was ‘information he had received about Mr. Spears and his daughter, Britney Spears as well as others.’” The attorney also says Lutfi claimed “he had been talking with Adnan Ghalib about the conservatorship and Ms. Spears’ status as a conservatee.”

In another document, one of the conservatorship lawyers claims “Mr. Lutfi has sent text messages and instant messages that contain false and hurtful allegations concerning Mr. Spears, Ms. Spears, and the Spears family.” The lawyer continues, “Mr. Lutfi, Adnan Ghalib, and Jon Eardley sought unsuccessfully to induce an attorney to file” false statements with the court.

The papers make it clear….”Over the past month, Ms. Spears has had numerous telephone conversations with both Mr. Lutfi and Mr. Ghalib and has exchanged numerous text messages with both of them.” But we’re told now Brit is so mad at them she wants them locked up.

My favorite Britney Spears was the sexy, forbidden, virgin one. Even though she wasn’t a virgin, she was a lot more alluring than kids/crazy Britney or current puppet Britney. So I got pictures of Britney Spears v1.0, because Circus-era Britney Spears always looks dead behind the eyes.

For every Britney (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn). Britney Spears is pissed at her old flings Sam Lutfi, the guy who was her “manager,” if…

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Hot Woman Jumps Into Giant Pie By dave January 31, 2009

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There’s a story behind Attack Of The Show’s Olivia Munn jumping into a giant pie in a French maid outfit, and you can watch that story on the YouTube video (I’d suggest skipping ahead to 3:30 to see the actual jump), or you can just look at some pictures that have a hot woman dressed as a French maid jumping into a giant pie and be thankful that you get this today and the super bowl tomorrow. I’m personally having a little overload that I haven’t experienced since I discovered Girls Gone Weed.

There’s a story behind Attack Of The Show’s Olivia Munn jumping into a giant pie in a French maid outfit, and you can watch that story on the YouTube video…

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Jessica Alba Barely Survives Vulcan Death Pinch By dave January 31, 2009
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The greatest thing about Jessica Alba going to a nail salon is that no one talks to Jessica Alba in public. She’s kind of a bitch. And since she can’t act, all she really does is go to different places around the world and tempt people with her silent bitchiness.

Whenever my cat makes any of the expressions Jessica Alba is making in these photos, it’s usually because it found its way into my his-and-hers warming lube and it’s stomach is on fire with the power of vomit that smells like an orgy. Then the cat vomits on me, because it hates my guts like everyone else and I have to go about my business smelling like 40-something group sex and people mistake me for Neil Patrick Harris.

That’s why I gifted my cat to Jessica Alba, who looks to have eaten it. Which is probably the only time I’ll ever get to claim that Jessica Alba ate my pussy.

Bet you saw that joke coming a mile away, huh?

The greatest thing about Jessica Alba going to a nail salon is that no one talks to Jessica Alba in public. She’s kind of a bitch. And since she can’t…

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Happy Friday, Ladies By todd January 30, 2009

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Here’s Orlando Bloom on the set of Sympathy for Delicious today, and if you look pretty closely, the discerning eye will notice that he has his shirt off. That’s good, because studies have shown that women respond favorably to guys with their shirts off. On the other hand, women do not respond favorably when you get them pregnant then leave the state and change your name. But why live in the past?

Here’s Orlando Bloom on the set of Sympathy for Delicious today, and if you look pretty closely, the discerning eye will notice that he has his shirt off. That’s good,…

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Nick Lachey is Sarcastic By todd January 30, 2009

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For some reason, pointing out the fact that Jessica Simpson gargles with cookie dough has sparked an international crisis, causing D-list celebrities everywhere to speak out with feigned indignation and mock outrage. Nick Lachey is not one of these people. US Magazine reports:

Nick Lachey says he is shocked by all the hype being made over his ex-wife Jessica Simpson’s new curves…”I wish her nothing but the best, and I hope she’s happy – whatever size that comes in,” he tells Extra. “I can’t believe it’s this big of a story and people are making such a huge deal about it. “

I don’t want to read into anything here, but I think Nick Lachey just called Jessica Simpson a fat ass.

Vanessa Minnillo – Nick Lachey is still hitting this. Point, Lachey:

For some reason, pointing out the fact that Jessica Simpson gargles with cookie dough has sparked an international crisis, causing D-list celebrities everywhere to speak out with feigned indignation and…

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Brooke Hogan is Living The Dream By todd January 30, 2009

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Hulk Hogan has spent untold millions and secured his daughter her own reality show to buy Brock Hogan a career as a pop singer. How’s it going you may ask? Tampa Bay’s The Juice says:

Brooke and her VH1 handlers are shooting an episode of Brooke Knows Best at the Florida State Fair on Feb. 6. Buy your tickets now! Wilson Media tells tbt* and The Juice* that the deal is “90 percent done,” but Hogan is “due to wrestle” Rick Flair’s son in a circus tent after the last show of the day by Circus Hollywood.

I hope no one is upset that Brock Hogan* career consists of wrestling dudes in circus tents in between hormone treatments. I mean, I hate the whole Hogan family, so this works out pretty well for me. If I ran over Nick Hogan by accident I’d jump out of my truck and start doing the robot and giving bystanders high-fives to make them think I did it on purpose.

Nice legs. Maybe somebody should tie them together and make a raft:

*fixed – Todd

Hulk Hogan has spent untold millions and secured his daughter her own reality show to buy Brock Hogan a career as a pop singer. How’s it going you may ask?…

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Pete Wentz Doesn’t Think Jessica Simpson is Fat By todd January 30, 2009

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Pete Wentz looks like he was made in Geppetto’s workshop, so apparently that makes him an expert on the media’s treatment of women. Us Magazine says:

“I think that the media puts too harsh of a spotlight on women in general, and I think it’s a bummer,” the Fall Out Boy told Extra from the NFL Pepsi Smash Super Bowl Bash in Tampa, Florida Thursday, when asked about Simpson’s new curves. “It’s bad for young women,” Wentz added. “I see it affecting young girls who come to our shows, and that’s a bummer.” The bassist continued: “Real beauty is on the inside, man.”

Man, I feel so bad now. You’re right, Pete. A woman’s beauty should be appreciated from the inside. Like you did, when you went on Howard Stern and told the whole world that your wife takes it up the ass. I mean, if that’s not what you’re talking about now, please let us know. Because you can see how we could be getting mixed signals.

Jessica Simpson performing in black (surprise) at John Paul Jones Arena in Virginia last night. Strrriiiiike two:

Pete Wentz looks like he was made in Geppetto’s workshop, so apparently that makes him an expert on the media’s treatment of women. Us Magazine says: “I think that the…

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This Can’t Be Legal Pt. 3 By todd January 30, 2009

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I’m not sure who decided today was going to be IDLYITW Pedo Appreciation Day, but here’s the 15 year old tarted up hussy, Ali Lohan doing a photoshoot n NYC. I see her bitch mom wasted no time in getting her implants, but at least the pictures are somewhat tasteful. Unlike the pictures she’s gonna take in about five years when nobody wants to hire her and she’s ran out of money for coke and heroin. I don’t want to speculate, but I think they might include a ball gag and something hydraulically powered.

I’m not sure who decided today was going to be IDLYITW Pedo Appreciation Day, but here’s the 15 year old tarted up hussy, Ali Lohan doing a photoshoot n NYC….

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