Elisha Cuthbert is a Slut



The NHL has suspended Dallas Stars’ left wing, Sean Avery, indefinitely after he called Elisha Cuthbert (his ex-girlfriend) his “sloppy seconds.” Awww, how sweet. Us Magazine reports:

“Speaking to reporters Tuesday morning after a practice in Calgary, Avery made a public dig at Calgary Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf, who is dating Cuthbert. “I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada,” he said. “I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.”

Elisha Cuthbert’s vagina will not accept packages from anyone except certified professional hockey players, so Avery does kinda have a point. Of course now it’s open season for this dude to get a slapshot in the teeth, but if you’ve ever wanted to bang Elisha Cuthbert, wear a hockey jersey. That’s like her chloroform.

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