Oh, yeah. You heard that right. Amy Winehouse single, baby! Awww, yeah. Page Six reports:
“Amy Winehouse says her marriage to Blake Fielder-Civil is kaput, according to Britain’s News of the World. The drug-addled singer says her husband left her for a blond German model, Sophie Schandorff. “It’s over,” the tabloid quoted Winehouse as saying. “There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for sex.” And, according to one of her pals, also quoted by the newspaper, it wasn’t ordinary sex. “Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit,” said the unnamed friend. “They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea, but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.”
Jesus, a threesome with Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil? That’s not sex, that’s something you’d be forced to do in one of the Saw movies if you wanted to unlock the bear trap around your head.
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All you need to know about the AMAs is that Daughtry, Flo Rida, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and Kid Rock were nominated for awards. Music awards. Seriously? This is what we’ve come to? I’ve saw more talent that one time I saw a monkey ride a skateboard.
I have no clue what has happened to Christina Aguilera these last couple of months. She looks like a male Christina Aguilera impersonator. The only way these pictures could be more disappointing is if she had a horse tail.
Click here for more of this American Music Awards post…
Rihanna stole somebody’s hair and some baby’s blanket to walk the red carpet, and strangely, it’s still not enough to convince me that this chick is hot. The only way I would is if she was standing in molten lava. And even then, she’d really have to sell it.
I guess Miley Cyrus showed up alone because she’s been taking some heat for having a 20 year old boyfriend. Turns out that’s illegal. Other things that should be illegal: My lemon cookies. It’s like awesomeness in your mouth!
Hey, look. It’s T-Pain. A rapper with a letter in his name, ridiculous jewelry, and a stupid hat. Wow! How original! In 50 years, historians will totally be able to differentiate him from the hundred other fucking rappers with hyphens in their name.
We haven’t seen Jordin Sparks in a while and it sorta makes me wonder where she’s been. My guess? Hibernating or marrying Shrek. It’s hard to tell.
I had a dream once that Soledad O’Brien washed my truck in a nurse outfit and a Santa hat, and that’s been pretty much the best thing I’ve seen involving CNN. Until last night. When I found out who showed up to CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute. Salma Hayek, Jessica Biel, Eliza Dushku, and Kate Beckinsale look absolutely fantastic. I wasn’t going to mention this, but I should have seen them in person. Not to brag, but some people consider me a hero. Why, just last week, I rescued a kitten from a tree and taught a fatherless black kid how to fly a kite.
Illiana Douglas’ message for the paps [Dlisted] Christina Aguilera is a clown in leggings [Hollywood Tuna] Michelle Williams opens up about Heath Ledger [Popsugar] Lenny Kravitz’s NYC sex pad [City Rag] Akon likes sluts [Hollywood Rag] Pamela Anderson is a naked mess (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather] Nicole Richie is the gross middle of a douche sandwich [Just Jared] Winona Ryder is still on drugs [Lainey Gossip] Victoria Silvstedt still has boobies (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] Jennifer Hawkins and her groovy curves [Popoholic] Kelly Brook posing in some magazine I’ve never heard of [Egotastic] Where the Hell is Buffy When You Need Her? (Twilight) [Pajiba]
You never can tell with Star Magazine, but they are now reporting that Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Bosworth were at Bardot in Hollywood on Tuesday night. And then the unthinkable happened:
“Kate was all over Leo,” says an eyewitness. “Her body language suggested that she wanted to be more that just friends and wasn’t worried who saw. They spent the entire night together side by side, intimately whispering in each others ears and squeezing each other tight.” Leo was with a group of pals, including Kevin Connelly and Lukas Haas, at a table in the VIP section. They were surrounded by about 11 woman including Leelee Sobieski, but it was Kate who was snuggling up to Leo. “Leo and Kate acted as if there was no one else in the club,” continues the source. “She was making sure his focus was solely on her and the black skintight dress she was wearing certainly helped. When the club closed at 2am, Leo and Kate left with the rest of the group to keep the party going elsewhere.”
This can’t be right. Especially since Leo gets to bang this every night. Kate Bosworth has a gigantic head and looks like that dude in the attic in Hellraiser. Seriously, if Kate didn’t at some point show DiCaprio her puzzle box that opens a portal to Hell, I just can’t bring myself to believe this story.
Click here for the rest of this post, and pictures of Kate Bosworth…
Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Connolly, Adam Levine, and Zac Efron at the Lakers game this weekend:
The lesbian love affair of our lifetime has been on rocky lately, and now in a last ditch effort to save it, Lindsay and Samantha have entered couples counseling. Awww. Page Six reports:
“Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson “are fighting like cats and dogs,” according to our source. “They fight every day, screaming, crying and yelling at each other. “Sam and Lindsay are still very much together and very much in love, but drama just seems to follow Lindsay, and Sam hates it. She deals with Lindsay every day. And every day for Sam means questioning, ‘Is this worth it?’”…”Lindsay is high-maintenance and a lot to deal with,” another insider divulged. “And Sam has always dealt with her. But it isn’t easy.” Lohan – who insists she is not a lesbian despite her relationship with Ronson – “will go straight back to guys” if she and Ronson do split, said one source. Rumors of her flirting with Chase Crawford and her ex-boyfriend Calum Best add fuel to the combustible situation.”
Yeah, couples counseling. That should work. Couples counselors are known the world over for turning straight people gay. Because that’s what it’s gonna take for this relationship to work. Samantha Ronson needs to face it, Lindsay is hot for cock. There’s no way to fix that. The only way Samantha is gonna keep dating Lindsay is if she can find a way to magically transform herself into a battleship full on Navy soldiers.
Heidi Klum was in Los Angeles filming a commercial this week, and based on these pictures it could be about drooling or driver safety. Who knows. For their sake, I hope it’s not an ad for anti-erection cream. I can go ahead and tell ya, this commercial might not resonate.
AnnaLynne McCord was Eden Lord in Nip/Tuck, so I feel bad for making fun of her. Okay, not really, but Nip/Tuck is kick ass and her new show, 90210 is not. So I guess it helps if you’re star wants to run around the set with her tits falling out. In fact, it helps a great deal. Yesterday, I didn’t even know this show existed. Today, I’m still trying to process that Annie and Naomi have a half-brother and that slut Brenda slept with Ryan! Like, OMG!!
Meadow Soprano woke up this morning and got herself a Turtle. Not to be gross, but … okay, yes this is gross, but a friend of ours always says, “I’ve got a peeking turtle!” when he needs to take a dump. For some reason this guy waits until the last second to poop and then waits until it’s skidding and marking to go, and asks where the bathroom is again just so he can dance around laughing with his hand on his chode and say for the hundredth time, “Where’s the bathroom, I’ve got a peeking turtle?!?!” He’s normally funny, but not when he does that.
(The term, peeking turtle, is supposed to make you visualize a turtle’s head creeping from its shell. Get it?)
So anyway, whenever I watch that boring show, Entourage, and hear the name “Turtle” and see this little dude, Jerry Ferrara, I think of my friend and his poop.
Jerry Ferrara and Jamie-Lynn Sigler are dating in real life, by the way: