Your Genitals Smell Like Dead People



Allow me to preface this by saying I don’t care if you think I’m funny or not anymore, and I care even less how you feel about Todd, because he has not-white skin, so he doesn’t matter at all. What’s important to me is that you cared enough to hang out on this unapologetic, messy, unpredictable website all these years and thanks for supporting all the sites we link and advertisers who support us, too.

Now:

I am a Dallas Cowboys fan. Not a bandwagon one. I was born this way. According to my dad I was destined to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. I wanted to be an astronaut, and Madonna, and John Taylor from Duran Duran’s wife, and an actress, but only if it was a Christopher Guest type movie, and it would have been nice to find the Titanic before those other homos did, and I think it would have been cool to find that mostly intact woolly mammoth in the tundra before those other losers did. Only most of those things happened to me so far.

Todd has red skin. He’s lucky I let him write on this site because he’s a redskin and Cowboys fans hate those people. I’ve never cared enough to ask what he wanted to be before he was stuck here with me trying to make you assholes laugh for a living. He’s allegedly a Panthers fan. RAWR. How gay. Seriously, though, I’m afraid of him because he’s the type who scalps white people who try to claim his land and shit like that, but THANK GOD he wears anklets with bells on them because I always hear him coming – and that’s his joke, not mine, so spare me.

We both like you and whether or not you like us back those Native people, like Todd, prefer it when you fight them because they enjoy raping women, especially white women. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll enjoy it.

So there’s a little on us. Feel free to comment and talk amongst yourselves in our crappy comments area. Or don’t. We have an open forum for the most part, unless you’re spamming, or totally fuckheaded, or boring, or our moderators treat the delete button like a clitoris.

We’ve been here for over three years, many have asked who writes this mean stuff, so there’s a little bio for you whether you wanted it or not.

Here’s Jinxica Simpson performing at some some pig auction, or being a model for the new Saturn car, or tawlkin’ ’bout fartin’ -n- burpin’ … whatever kept her away from Lambeau Field on Sunday, thaynk gawsh.

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