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Some fellow perv emailed these to us. These are supposedly Lindsay Lohan leaving a yacht party in Cannes two months ago. I have no reason to believe these aren’t Lindsay, or her freckles, or her labia, because she’s a global whore, and her random body part flashing knows no bounds. At least she’s wearing panties this time. She’s a superhero. If I gave a shit about comic books I would have followed what I just wrote with something super witty for you to relate to, but I don’t read comic books. I pretend to be in a coma waiting for the right moment to attack and avenge the killings of all the innocents who didn’t deserve to die.
Okay, that was the best comic book thing I could do. It wasn’t even a comic book. Kill Bill 1 and 2 were on cable a couple days ago. It wasn’t even good cable. Both movies had about six or seven hundred commercials which were each about an hour long. I’m surprised I even remembered watching Fill Jill 2 and 5. You know what I remember most of all?
They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
so why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant.
It’s all because some hacker stole my identity.
Now I’m in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea.
Should have gone to freecreditreport.com (yeehaa!)
I could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb.
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts.
So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts.
I hate that jingle so much.
I don’t particularly like this mess either, or her ugly ass boy girlfriend and his stupid hat: