America’s Got Talent had a contestant last night by the name of Busty Hart who beat things to a pulp with her massive breasts. I watch too many Bill Curtis and Dominick Dunne shows, so naturally my mind wanders here. What if she used those things to beat people to death? As long as she didn’t leave her own DNA and other evidence at the scene, how would anyone know the murder weapon was a ginormous pair of tits? If you witnessed the crime and called it in, the 911 operators would laugh at you just like they laugh at people who call in saying they saw a UFO. If she did turn out to be a mass murderer I wonder what her nickname would be. “The Big Breasted Beast?” “The Mammary Murderer?” “The Nippled Necrophile?” Whatever. Anyway, dem some big tittays.
Update: If you can’t see the above video, here’s another one. Thanks to Vigilante and her boyfriend, Dimitri.