Keanu Reeves Has a Topless Girlfriend

A wooden duck with wheels for feet could deliver lines better than Keanu Reeves, but he deferred his salary on The Devil’s Advocate so the movie could afford Al Pacino, and in 1999 he had a pregnant girlfriend, and by 2001 both his girlfriend and daughter were dead, so forgive me if I don’t make fun of him. Although I should probably start, because here he is today with some topless chick in the French Riviera. Other sexy things that happened today: I returned a pair of slippers to Target. I’m a man of leisure!

Photos: Splash

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