Gemma Atkinson Has a Calendar By todd May 29, 2008

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Some pictures of Gemma Atkinson’s photoshoot for her new calendar hit online today, and I could be wrong, but I think it might have something to do with her tits. When asked for comment Bill Henson said, “Whoa, those are too big. What is she, like 16?”

Hey, if anybody can read whatever that is on her stomach, feel free to chime in. I guessed “Deposit Here”, but I think that just might be projecting.

Some pictures of Gemma Atkinson’s photoshoot for her new calendar hit online today, and I could be wrong, but I think it might have something to do with her tits….

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George Clooney is Single Again By jenny May 28, 2008

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[Gallery not found]

In the most shocking news since I pushed the on button and found my rabbit dildo dead again, George Clooney dumped his latest whore. How much was the slut settlement, I wonder? ITW reports:

George Clooney has broken up with Sarah Larson after nearly a year of dating. According to a friend of Sarah’s, the Leatherheads star recently moved out of his LA home while the 29-year-old former Las Vegas cocktail waitress removed her belongings. “George is relieved to be single again,” says an insider. “He thinks Sarah is sweet and that is why it was so hard to break up with her.” As In Touch previously reported, George, 47, and Sarah struggled to make their relationship work because of their different backgrounds. “The truth is they had little in common and he just doesn’t want to be tied down,” explains the insider. George’s rep told In Touch: “I can only confirm that we have never commented on George’s personal life.”

Yeah, yeah, blah blah. She was outed as the gold digging skank she is, so Georgie scooted her ass to the curb on some Moving Men. And stop saying she’s from Las Vegas because she’s not. Vegas natives, like me, don’t want to be associated with whore imports like Sarah who move here looking for a quick buck. If she was from Vegas we’d accept her as a classy whore, but she’s not. She came here to get paid under the table (or on the nightstand), and contribute nothing to the local economy. If that transient, carpetbagging nobody had a prettier face, then I’d say take that droopy eyed one trick pony George Clooney for all he has, but this seems more like Clooney charity work. Bitch looks like she chews tree bark and eats other animals’ fur mites.

Note: I loved O Brother, Where Art Thou?, so that’s a Clooney get outta jail free card. Everything else is cheesy and played, other than The Facts of Life, natch.

In the most shocking news since I pushed the on button and found my rabbit dildo dead again, George Clooney dumped his latest whore. How much was the slut settlement,…

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Mariah Carey Throws a Pitch By todd May 28, 2008

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Mariah Carey and her pancake ass threw out the first pitch at a baseball game in Tokyo yesterday. For what exactly, I have no idea. Do Japanese people even listen to R&B? I don’t think so. The girls at the massage parlor prefer a cool blend of rock hits from the ’80s, ’90s and today. Especially the one-hour commercial free rock blocks. “It now commuhsha fwee, numbah 1 G.I.!” they are fond of telling me.

Uncoordinated update: Mariah Carey is bringing the heat!

Mariah Carey and her pancake ass threw out the first pitch at a baseball game in Tokyo yesterday. For what exactly, I have no idea. Do Japanese people even listen…

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Publink Enemy By jenny May 28, 2008

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Dina Lohan is a fugly cunt [City Rag]
Posh Spice loves Pink Taco [Dlisted]
Jessica Simpson has a shitty new song [Hollywood Tuna]
Nicole Richie is an ugly, anorexic twig again [Just Jared]
Pamela Anderson spreads her legs again (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Scary Spice gets her ass groped (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Amy Winehouse is using diapers [Hollywood Rag]
Rachel Bilson is a mama’s girl [Popsugar]
Tori Spelling is Donna Martin [ASL]
Battlestar Galactica girls photoshoot [Egotastic]
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull [Pajiba]

Public Enemy performing in Manchester, UK on May 27th:


Photos: Splash

Dina Lohan is a fugly cunt [City Rag] Posh Spice loves Pink Taco [Dlisted] Jessica Simpson has a shitty new song [Hollywood Tuna] Nicole Richie is an ugly, anorexic twig…

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Sex and the City Had Another Premiere By todd May 28, 2008

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[Gallery not found]

All the “uniquely beautiful” stars of Sex and the City were out in New York last night for the movie’s premiere, and boy did they get everybody super turned on. Sarah Jessica Parker is looking so damn hot. Even hotter after I finish ironing her hands. Ooohhh…hello, lover…

Lots more Sex and the City New York Premiere pictures after the jump…

Photos: Splash

All the “uniquely beautiful” stars of Sex and the City were out in New York last night for the movie’s premiere, and boy did they get everybody super turned on….

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Cate Blanchett Supports Child Porn By todd May 28, 2008

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Actress Cate Blanchett and 40 others have come forward to support photographer, Bill Henson, after Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, hinted that possible criminal charges await Henson, whose latest exhibit was shut down due to images of naked underage girls. More than 20 pictures were confiscated, including one featuring a naked 13 year old girl and one of a naked, unconscious girl being carried by two other naked subjects. In a letter signed by Blanchett (mother of three), the Prime Minister is urged to “rethink his public comments” and to not go forward with any formal charges. The Daily Telegraph reports:

The potential prosecution of one of our most respected artists…does untold damage to our culture reputation,” the letter said. “We suggest that the…criminalisation of laying charges against Mr Henson, his gallery and the parents of the young people depicted in his work would be far more traumatic for the young people concerned than anything Mr. Henson has done.”

Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I was a 13 year old girl, an old guy asking me to pretend I just took some roofies so he can take some pictures of me naked and defenseless would be pretty traumatic. Also if I was a 13 year old girl, Joe Jonas would totally be my favorite. Back off bitches!

Photos: Splash

Actress Cate Blanchett and 40 others have come forward to support photographer, Bill Henson, after Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, hinted that possible criminal charges await Henson, whose latest exhibit…

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The Hogans are Still Assholes By todd May 28, 2008

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Last week, 26 hours of audio from Nick Hogan’s jail phone calls were released that show just how heartbroken and remorseful Nick and the Hogan family are over the fact that John Graziano is a vegetable because traffic laws don’t apply to them. And by “heartbroken and remorseful” I mean “how much money can Nick Hogan make off this?” Bay News 9 really wants you to punch a wall.

Hulk: “Well, I don’t know what type of person John was. Or what he did to get himself in this situation. I know he was pretty aggressive and yelled at people and do stuff. And for some reason God laid some heavy shit on that kid. I don’t know what he was into.”

Nick: “He was a negative person.

Hulk: “He was what?”

Nick: “He was a negative person. Will you work on that Real-Ality deal?”

Hulk: “Yep”

Nick: “Get that lined up so the minute I walk out…wherever I walk out of it’s there…boom.”

Hulk: “Can you do it while you’re on probation?”

Nick: “Of course.”

Hulk: “Do you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or someone else?”

Nick: “I want to do it where I’ll make the most money.”

In another transcript, Linda Hogan says that John Graziano is a vegetable because of karma. And after her minor collision this weekend, Brooke Hogan repeatedly threw in jabs that she was alive because of her seatbealt. So if you thought the entire Hogan family were insufferable douchebags, congratulations! You were right. I’m pretty sure the devil is going to make sure they get a police escort to hell.

Hulk and Brock visiting Nick in jail:

Thanks, Stefanie!

Last week, 26 hours of audio from Nick Hogan’s jail phone calls were released that show just how heartbroken and remorseful Nick and the Hogan family are over the fact…

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Karina Smirnoff Has Nipples By todd May 27, 2008

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Mario Lopez hit the beach in Miami this weekend and these are only going up because his girlfriend’s top came off. His girlfriend is Karina Smirnoff, his partner on Dancing With The Stars. OK, that’s enough sweetie. Bye bye! Back to obscurity!

Mario Lopez hit the beach in Miami this weekend and these are only going up because his girlfriend’s top came off. His girlfriend is Karina Smirnoff, his partner on Dancing…

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Linka Linkeson By jenny May 27, 2008

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Blake Lively and Penn Badgley are humping [Dlisted]
Kate Beckinsale beach photos are disappointing [Hollywood Tuna]
Matthew McConaughey’s brother gets a reality show [Just Jared]
Pete Wentz is a cunt (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Tara Reid shows off her ass cheek (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Courtney Love cries fraud [Hollywood Rag]
Kate Hudson has blue hair [Popsugar]
Petra Nemcova gets leggy at Cannes [Popoholic]
Tila Tequila is tranny looking trash [City Rag]
Kirsten Dunst lies about being a drunk [ASL]
Scary Spice is still scary and manly [Egotastic]
Beckham 70 Yard Goal [College Humor]

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz this weekend in Las Vegas:

Photos: Splash

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley are humping [Dlisted] Kate Beckinsale beach photos are disappointing [Hollywood Tuna] Matthew McConaughey’s brother gets a reality show [Just Jared] Pete Wentz is a cunt…

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Sharon Stone Needs To Shut Up By todd May 27, 2008

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As the death toll reached 67,183 at noon today, the earthquake that shook China’s Sichuan Province of Beichuan is one of the most devastating recorded natural disasters in history. Along with the 361,822 injured and 20,790 missing, 15 million people have been relocated. But those people need to stop whining. Because according to Sharon Stone, they got what they deserved. FOX News reports:

I’m not happy about the way that the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don’t think anyone should be unkind to anyone else,” she told reporters at Cannes. “And so I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do because I don’t like that.” She said she’s also been wondering how the United States should handle the Olympics because China is “not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who’s a good friend of mine.” When the earthquake hit, Stone wondered if it was a case of what goes around, comes around. “Then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you’re not nice, that the bad things happen to you?”

Wow, I almost don’t know what to say – that was so ignorant. If Sharon Stone wants people to be nice to the Dalai Lama so bad, maybe she should tell him to rethink those glasses. He looks like the manager of an Asian Geek Squad. The cool people in China just aren’t down with that.

Sharon at the AMFAR party in Cannes on May 25th:

Photos: Splash

As the death toll reached 67,183 at noon today, the earthquake that shook China’s Sichuan Province of Beichuan is one of the most devastating recorded natural disasters in history. Along…

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