Diablo Cody Wore Flats, Got Naked By todd February 26, 2008

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Juno screenwriter, Diablo Cody, refused to wear a pair of $1 million Stuart Weitzman diamond-encrusted heels to the Oscars on Sunday night, because she felt like she was being used for free publicity. Cody writes on her MySpace blog:

They’re using me to publicize their stupid shoes and NOBODY ASKED ME. I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide. I’m sorry if I sound like a party-pooper, but Jeebus.”

That sounded like artistic integrity for about five minutes. Then I read what the designer, Stuart Weitzman, had to say:

This year – more so than in any previous year – the lady who was given the opportunity to wear it was quite involved in the design process. Diablo Cody sent me examples of the type of shoes she liked and actually did the final selection herself…She chose to adorn the shoes with medium-sized diamond roses from three different sizes offered to her. Why she seems to be so surprised as to the attention being paid to her and these shoes, I cannot answer.”

Man, I just don’t know who to believe. Diablo Cody used to take her clothes off for money, so you can see how that might cause some mixed signals. Paying you $20 to grind on my lap doesn’t seem to be a problem, but wearing a pair of $1 million shoes for three hours could irreparably damage your self-respect? Oh I see. Now that you put it that way.

Here’s some NSFW Diablo Cody. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing:

Juno screenwriter, Diablo Cody, refused to wear a pair of $1 million Stuart Weitzman diamond-encrusted heels to the Oscars on Sunday night, because she felt like she was being used…

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More Oscar Stuff By todd February 26, 2008

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Here’s the teeth-clenchingly annoying 29 year old, Katherine Heigl, looking like the 45 year old chain smoker she is. She smokes American Spirit, the only 100% organic tobacco cigarette, because I guess she thinks that inhaling natural smoke is better than other smoke. Here’s a hint: It’s smoke. I’m sure when the fireman tells you to crawl on your stomach it isn’t because of the additives.

Diablo Cody was hours away from winning the award for “Best Achievement in Pretentious Crap”, but it looks like she had the foresight to dress the part. My neighborhood could be under nuclear attack and I could still manage to pick out an outfit better than this.

Can’t we just all agree that Daniel Day-Lewis should win an Oscar every time he makes a movie? Instead of showing pictures of the other nominees for Best Actor in those little squares, they should have shown sock puppets. It would have basically been the same thing (no offense Johnny).

Perhaps the greatest mystery of the night was why Jessica Alba was invited to the Oscars. That’s like inviting a turtle to a dog show. Look, we’re glad you could make it and all, but please know that you will never go home with anything other than unrealistic expectations or a script that calls for your t-shirt to get wet on page 4.

Marion Cotillard is cute and likes to get naked on camera, so that automatically qualifies her for any acting award. This a little known fact about acting, but perky boobs can really bring out the emotional depth of a female character. *cough* Jessica Biel *cough*

Update: By request, some nude screencaps of Marion’s work. (Click thumbnails for larger NSFW images.)

I know looking like a dude is Tilda Swinton‘s thing, but would it kill her to pretend she has a vagina once in a while? Way to glam it up for the big night. I’m surprised her acceptance speech didn’t start with, “Attention people of Earth!”

Here’s the teeth-clenchingly annoying 29 year old, Katherine Heigl, looking like the 45 year old chain smoker she is. She smokes American Spirit, the only 100% organic tobacco cigarette, because…

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Gary Busey is Insane By todd February 25, 2008

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I’m not even going to pretend that I know what Gary Busey was high on last night. At this point, it’s hard to know why he’s even allowed through security at these things anymore. He’s fucking crazy. If they really wanted him to attend they should have put him in a cage and wheeled him down the red carpet. That way he couldn’t do things like, I don’t know, barge in on interviews, ramble incoherently, and molest Jennifer Garner. You could make a strong case that this video could be submitted as Exhibit A for that. You could also make a strong case that this video could be the darkhorse favorite for “Best Achievement in Two Actresses I Was Unaware I Wanted A Threesome With Until Now”. Could they take home the gold? Find out live on ABC!

I’m not even going to pretend that I know what Gary Busey was high on last night. At this point, it’s hard to know why he’s even allowed through security…

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The Oscars Were Last Night By todd February 25, 2008

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The biggest excuse for Hollywood to suck itself off celebrated its 80th anniversary last night, and with the exception of Tilda Swinton, the winners went pretty much as expected. And as usual, they were mostly wrong. There Will Be Blood got robbed and if I was a 15 year old girl, I’d feel pretty good about my chances at winning a screenwriting Oscar next year. “That ain’t no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.” Really? That’s a line from an Oscar-winning screenplay? If I heard someone talk like that in real life, my only recourse would be an uppercut. And they would deserve it.

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, Juno
Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men
Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

The biggest excuse for Hollywood to suck itself off celebrated its 80th anniversary last night, and with the exception of Tilda Swinton, the winners went pretty much as expected. And…

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Angelina Jolie is Pregnant By todd February 25, 2008

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Angelina Jolie and Donnie Brasco walked the blue carpet at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards, and no use debating the issue anymore, Angelina Jolie is pregnant. In related news, Jennifer Aniston’s house has welcomed a new kitten. Congratulations to the happy mothers!

Angelina Jolie and Donnie Brasco walked the blue carpet at the 2008 Film Independent’s Spirit Awards, and no use debating the issue anymore, Angelina Jolie is pregnant. In related news,…

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Johnny Depp and Le Froglegeater are at the Oscars By jenny February 25, 2008

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My face is perpetually on fire and Johnny Depp is my full-time Fireman.

- Reason #68 why Vanessa Paradis is jealous of me.

Obligatory:

My face is perpetually on fire and Johnny Depp is my full-time Fireman. – Reason #68 why Vanessa Paradis is jealous of me. Obligatory: Trigger happy tv – english/french –…

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Cameron Diaz Was At The Academy Awards By jenny February 25, 2008



Why am I here?

OMG forrealz are we live right now? (snort)

Burp. FART. LOL!!!

Wait, what!? This wasn’t that 24 hour MTV Jackass show?

Why am I here? OMG forrealz are we live right now? (snort) Burp. FART. LOL!!! Wait, what!? This wasn’t that 24 hour MTV Jackass show?

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Valerie Bertinelli Was a Slut and a Cokehead By todd February 22, 2008

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In a not at all obvious coincidence, actress and ex-wife of Eddie Van Halen, Valerie Bertinelli, will appear on Monday’s Oprah on the same day her tell all book, Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time, hits stores. In the juicest gossip of 1984, Bertinelli will reveal that she cheated on her ex-husband of 24 years and that she snorted cocaine. ETonline says:

…Oprah asks, “So you got married?” And Valerie responds, “And passed out in the honeymoon suite.” Valerie also tells the talk show queen: “I cheated, too. He claims to this day that I cheated first, but I don’t know. I don’t know about the timing.”

Man, that’s some shocking news. Almost as shocking as marrying a rockstar and not understanding why it didn’t work out. Because if I was Eddie Van Halen and this was 1983, I’m sure my daily planner would include scheduled times for throwing up blood and waking up on top of a pair of 18 year old twins.

Click thumbnails for larger images:

In a not at all obvious coincidence, actress and ex-wife of Eddie Van Halen, Valerie Bertinelli, will appear on Monday’s Oprah on the same day her tell all book, Losing…

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Kool Moe Leenk By jenny February 22, 2008



Russell Crowe packs on the pounds [Dlisted]
The Jonas Brothers wear purity rings [Just Jared]
Johnny Knoxville gets his manhood back [Hollywood Rag]
Showtime at the Apollo [City Rag]
Josie Maran is a hot mess [Hollywood Tuna]
Justin Timberlake representing Givenchy [ASL]
Pamela Anderson sports the cameltoe (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Christina Milian tits in wallpaper (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Diddy produces another pile of crap [Popsugar]
Natalie and Scarlett meet the prince [Egotastic]
Full House Outtakes [College Humor]
Fergie drops serious cleavage [Popoholic]

Kanye West is a puffy cheeked sissy compared to Kool Moe Dee (yeah, I said it):


Happy Friday, kids.

Russell Crowe packs on the pounds [Dlisted] The Jonas Brothers wear purity rings [Just Jared] Johnny Knoxville gets his manhood back [Hollywood Rag] Showtime at the Apollo [City Rag] Josie…

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Aaron Carter Gets High, and Arrested By todd February 22, 2008

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Aaron Carter was arrested in Kimble County, Texas yesterday after police found two ounces of marijuana in his car. TMZ reports:

TMZ has confirmed Aaron was pulled over on I-10 earlier today for speeding — and when authorities decided to search his vehicle, they found the fat stash inside! Aaron, 20, is currently in jail until tomorrow, when a judge will be present for his arraignment.”

Aaron Carter is a wigger from way back, so I’m kinda surprised this didn’t happen sooner. He also got his big break on the Disney channel, and you know how those stories usually turn out (if you don’t, see here, here, here, and here.) At this point, I’d have more respect for parents if they shot heroin into their child’s juicebox than if they took them on an audition for Hannah Montana.

Aaron Carter was arrested in Kimble County, Texas yesterday after police found two ounces of marijuana in his car. TMZ reports: TMZ has confirmed Aaron was pulled over on I-10…

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