Jessica Alba Was a 6th Grade Slut



In an essay written for Ellyn Spragins’ upcoming book, If I’d Known Then, Jessica Alba says she was traumatized after her elementary school principle and a few PTA moms labeled her a slut because she had big boobs. Yes, I’m sure that was the reason. Page Six says:

The accusation still ricochets…They think I’m a slut?,”…Alba adds: “Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they’re about 20 or 21…It’s fun to have a crush, but don’t think it’s forever…And use birth control and condoms, please.”

As much as I would’ve loved to have been in Jessica Alba’s 6th grade class, if she could just shut up, that would be great. “The accusation still ricochets”? I never see her wearing a scarlet letter, so maybe it’s time to move on. She was born hot, called a slut in 6th grade because people were jealous she was hot, the she grew up to be rich, famous, and hot. Oh my, I hope there’s some way Jessica Alba can pull herself out of this emotional hell.

Jessica pretending she’s a good actress in Latina magazine:

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