German supermodel Heidi Klum, 34, not familiar with the American customs of apathy and relentless ridicule, has extended an invitation to Britney Spears. An invitation to live with her. Fox News reports:
She can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months,” Klum said. “I would help set her straight. “I am sorry when a young person gets thrown so off track,” she said in an interview to be aired on German television. “She has, of course, lived an extremely wild life.”
I can only imagine Heidi Klum was just trying to be nice here, because I assume she would be less than ecstatic if Britney Spears actually showed up at her house with a suitcase and a PODS filled with Marlboros. I’d rather have a uterus surgically implanted in me then have it scraped than live with Britney Spears. She wouldn’t make it halfway up my driveway before I released the pumas. Attack!