Britney Spears is Being Watched



Since she is unable to function at life, Britney Spears is now watched constantly by a group of “bodyguards”, hired by her father, Jamie Spears, who are basically there to protect Britney from Britney. Page Six reports:

Britney Spears’ new bodyguards are on strict orders from her dad, Jamie: Don’t let her go to a bar or a bathroom alone! The popwreck went to Jeffrey Chodorow’s new LA restaurant Citrus at Social on Saturday night with her father, a few friends and a woman described as “her chaperone.” The group sat at a table to eat, but Spears hardly touched her lobster burger, preferring butter-fried frites and Tater Tots. When she got restless, her bodyguards, stationed at several places throughout the eatery, jumped into action. “She continuously got up from the table to go to the bathroom or hang out at the bar and smoke a cigarette,” our spy said. “Bodyguards followed her to the bathroom and bar.”

In six months Britney will be 200 pounds. Sure, her luxurious lifestyle affords her the privilege of eating french fries and tater tots in only the finest restaurants, but now she won’t be able to chase them with laxatives and meth. By this time next year, Britney will been seen at a Taco Bell drive-thru on a Hoveround. A little while after that, the Grand Canyon! She’ll be free to see the world!

Classy Britney went for sushi last night and forgot her underwear again:

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