Ten Church of Scientology buildings were evacuated yesterday after mail delivered to their cult recruitment locations were found to contain a white powdery substance. Uh oh. The LA Times reports:
The letters were sent via the Postal Service to Scientology properties in Hollywood, the San Fernando Valley, Santa Monica, Glendale and Tustin. Police shut part of Glendale’s busy Brand Boulevard for two hours before sounding the all-clear, while 60 people were cleared from buildings in Tustin, authorities said…”Initial field testing by LAPD indicates the powder is harmless,” said FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller. “However, further testing will be conducted. We will also work to assess what threat, if any, was associated with the mailings and determine whether any federal statutes were violated.”
There’s no telling who did this and it doesn’t really matter. It could be undersea vampires or members of the Young Democrats and I’d still like to know where I should send my check.
Just for fun:
Some famous Scientologists at some jackoff Scientology circle jerk:
Jessica Simpson keeps tormenting Dallas fans [Hollywood Tuna] Kate Moss plans to marry [Hollywood Rag] Matthew McConaughey’s girlfriend can’t keep her dress down [Dlisted] Mandy Moore is addicted to acupuncture [Just Jared] Quentin Tarantino slaps a cameraman [City Rag] Halle Berry is very pregnant [Popsugar] Madonna is the richest singer in the world [ASL] Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert kiss for press attention [Egotastic] Avril Lavigne in a bikini, still boring (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather] Gemma Atkinson has a need for speed [Popoholic] Paris Hilton flashes her ass again (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie] Star Trek Orgasms [College Humor]
Sophia Loren and Gerard Depardieu at carnival in Spain last night:
Despite reports that Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were “all over each other” at New York City’s Tenjune on Tuesday night, a rep for Paris says it never happened. OK! says
It’s false,” a rep for the Simple Life star tells OK!. “Elisha and Paris are good friends and Elisha has a boyfriend. Paris doesn’t kiss girls.”…”They were talking close due to a loud restaurant,” the rep says.
“Paris is bi” stories pop up every once in a while (like her rumored sex tape with Playboy Playmate, Nicole Lenz) whenever they want you to be reminded that this skank is supposed to be some kind of sex symbol. And boy, I think it’s working. Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert? Oh baby. I can barely even wait to start masturbating to the thought of a Valtrex-scented retard going down on a chick that looks like my paperboy. Ooh yeah, like that. Work it you sexy little bitch.
By the way, here’s Paris not kissing MTV Latin America VJ, Eglantina Zingg (NSFW):
Britney Spears’ problems may have less to do with any diagnosed bipolar disorders, and a lot more to do with drug abuse. Specifically meth. The National Enquirer reports:
Britney Spears had been on a 24-hour meth binge before she was rushed to the hospital, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has learned exclusively. Ironically, she was desperately trying to stay awake – because she was terrified that if she fell asleep, her family would “drag her off to a mental institution,” according to a close source. The drama began at 2 a.m. Wednesday when Britney and Sam Lutfi checked into the Beverly Hills Hotel and she began doing meth. In addition to her mental problems the ENQUIRER has learned that Britney is addicted to crystal meth, and details her addiction in a front page story this week. Meanwhile, her meth habit played a key role in her recent hospitalization and friends told her mother, Lynne, that she hadn’t slept since last Saturday. Her drug-taking went on all day, interrupted only by brief dashes to her home. Secret arrangements for her hospitalization had been made – but no-one wanted it to happen at the hotel.”
Britney’s behavior and appearance is typical of any long time user of speed, so I’m not sure why this news would come as a surprise to anyone, and I’m also still not understanding why they think a trip to the mental hospital will help Britney stay off the shit, but whatever. Britney does want drugs, she doesn’t want her kids. So let the bitch have what she wants and let her self-destruct. I’m sure the next time we see her will be tomorrow as she’s caught on tape at the local Burger King throwing a fit and screaming, “I don’t want this! I want a Whopper. Now GIT me a Whopper!!”
Kate Hudson attended the premiere of something called Fool’s Gold last night, and from what her hair and dress tell me, I assume the theater was built on a helicopter pad or a roller coaster. The blue thing she’s wearing also makes her look pregnant. Unless God came into her tent and promised her a son recently, I don’t see how her stylist thought dressing Kate Hudson up in a tablecloth would kill on the red carpet.
In a plan that had been reportedly conceived by her psychiatrist for days, Britney Spears was taken by ambulance and police escort to UCLA Medical Center this morning where she has been placed on 5150, a psychiatric hold. Spears, who has not slept since Saturday, had allegedly deteriorated to the point where this was basically the only option. Unlike her last ambulance ride, Spears was tranquilized and went peacefully. TMZ says:
Britney’s psychiatrist told her she was going to the hospital. Her response was, “Is something wrong?” She was not resistant. She made hot chocolate and waited before paramedics arrived and placed her on a gurney….We’re told during her initial 72-hour stay she cannot be forced to take medication against her will. If, however, she refuses to take meds, the plan is for the the psych to go to court and have Britney held for an additional 14 days, during which time he can administer proper medications.”
There also seems to be a power struggle between Osama “Sam” Lutfi and Spears’ parents over who will be making the medical decisions for Britney:
As of right now Jamie and Lynne Spears have been told they are not calling the shots in making medical decisions on behalf of Britney. Right now, it appears Sam Lutfi is in the driver’s seat, but that could all change….Right now, the doctors at UCLA are working with Lutfi and not the parents, but lawyers have been called and the tension in the air is thick. We’re told Jamie was screaming at Sam in the hallway, accusing him of trying to control his daughter’s mind.”
I don’t know, controlling Britney’s mind doesn’t seem like it would be all that difficult. I’m thinking you probably wouldn’t have to do a lot “trying”. Just hand her a cigarette dipped in cake and she’ll pretty much go along with anything.
Update: TMZ is reporting that once Britney got in the hospital she admitted she’s been taking Adderall (legal speed) and abusing laxatives (taking up to ten a day). She was also “hurling profanities at her parents and staff”.
Kelly Rowland (Destiny’s Child) performed at a gay club in London a few nights ago, and as you can see the crowd was going wild. It was just one big party as they danced the night away to Rowland’s songs. They also traded Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, discovered the South Beach Diet, and did other stuff that was big in 2004.
A distraught Katie Holmes has stormed out of a crisis meeting with her husband Tom Cruise, furious over damaging publicity about his Scientology beliefs, and humiliated over the disastrous reaction to the movie he told her to make. The actress is said to be inconsolable after a string of leaked Scientology videos have flooded the Internet and divided Hollywood…Katie had already been forced to fend off questions about Andrew Morton’s controversial book Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography. While at first Katie put on a brave face, declaring that she and Tom weren’t bothered by the book, after this new scandal she can no longer ignore the Hollywood backlash…”
In case you’re interested, the movie in question is Mad Money, the movie Tom Cruise forced urged Holmes to take instead of reprising her role as Rachel Dawes in The Dark Knight. Mad Money stars Queen Latifah and Ted Danson. The Dark Knight stars Christian Bale and Heath Ledger. Mad Money has made $15 million in ten days. When it’s released, The Dark Knight will make $15 million before your lunch break. From now on, Katie Holmes should take career advice from a monkey playing the cymbals or interpreting the symbols on cereal boxes. It probably wouldn’t be any worse.
In a short film made to support the ongoing Writer’s Guild Association’s strike, Maggie Gyllenhall has a “lesbian orgy” with three other women. Well, ok then. The Sun reports:
In the clip, the Secretary star turns up to a hotel room to meet a man only to find two other beauties waiting to see the SAME fella. The man called AMPiTePa – short for Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers – has stood them all up. After a spell period of frustration, Maggie takes a swig from her glass of wine and says: “We don’t need him. We’ve got everything we need right here. “Girls – you want to make an interim agreement?” The other ladies join her on the bed, but, as things start to get interesting, the lights fade and the film ends with a sexy pizza delivery girl entering the bedroom.”
Don’t get me wrong, I fully support the writers’ strike, but how is Maggie Gyllenhaal in a pretend threesome gonna help me double my residual rate on DVD sales? It would probably help if Maggie Gyllenhaal was hot. In fact, it would help a great deal. When you normally see a face like hers it’s usually been summoned by an evil warlock sorcerer to impede a hero on his epic quest. I’m failing to see how that is supposed to turn me on.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that no matter how many times I strum that cardboard box with the rubber bands wrapped around it, and Juan bangs on his disposable cups with his Paper Mate pens, and Roberta screams into her phone receiver, we’ll never be Led Zeppelin.
Britney should do the same.
No matter how often Britney Spears wears these skanky clothes and shows the world her various weathered and gravitated body parts, she’ll never be that teenager in the schoolgirl uniform again. And that’s OK. Now put some clothes on and go home, you filthy hooker. Dignity is your friend.