Britney Spears went to Newport Beach and attended a party for some random cosmetics line last night wearing this lovely frock. She looks like a Jolly Roger, emphasis on Jolly. That belt looks like a queer WWE wrestler’s costume or something you’d win at a carnival. So if “Big Gay Pirate” is what you want to be for Halloween, then here’s your costume, my friends.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, Britney was wearing blue underwear.
Although representatives from St. Johns have not confirmed the story, OK! Magazine is reporting that Angelina Jolie has been fired as the face of the women’s clothing line. St. John, whose collection targets conservative business women, is worn by women such as Condoleeza Rice and Hillary Clinton.
Putting celebrities in campaigns is the biggest trend right now, everyone is doing it, but it didn’t work for St. John with Angelina,” a fashion industry insider explains to OK!. “The people that wear St. John just didn’t relate to her.”
Bitter and repressed women have a hard time relating to Angelina Jolie, so I can kinda see why this didn’t work out. That’d be like Superman being the spokesman for Cialis.
Update: Turns out St. John aren’t complete morons after all and have not fired Angelina Jolie as previously reported. As source inside the company tells Us magazine, “Angelina is starring in our current ads and just shot for Spring so she definitely still is our face.” So, basically OK! made all this up. How can they get away with this? First that thing about your sister being a whore and now this.
Tom Cruise is apparently furious after a unknown crew member farted during Cruise’s organized moment of silence on the set of Valkyrie. Cruise has now reportedly vowed to find the guy and have him fired. The Daily Star says:
Christian Berkel, 49 – who plays anti-Hitler plotter Albrecht Mertz von Quirnheim – said…”Quite rightly, Tom is furious. We were filming at the Bendler Block in Germany, where the anti-Nazis were executed. We had faced a great deal of opposition from the German government, who only gave us the go-ahead when we insisted we would show post-war Germany in a positive light. So Bryan and Tom asked for a minute’s silence out of respect for the place and in memory of the war heroes who died there. For somebody to pass wind in a situation like that is unforgivabe.”
Man, how rude. How can somebody be so insensitive at a time like that? A time where he’s standing around with a bunch of dudes in costumes and make-up being lectured by two gay dudes about war heroes. This guy better be glad Tom doesn’t know who he is. Tom might put his hand on his hip and shake his finger really fast.
It’s been a while since Mariah Carey’s crazy and inflated sense of self-worth has popped up , so imagine the luck of the ladies who happened to be in the bathroom at VH1′s Music Cares event. New York Daily News reports:
Mariah Carey, drinking deeply at VH1′s Music Cares event, invaded the ladies’ room with two burly bodyguards. Two women already there say her security tried to evict them, but they refused to leave. Says one: “One of the bodyguards said to us, ‘If you’re going to stay, you better not watch Mariah pee.’”
Oh yeah, baby! Of course I’m gonna watch, because that’s why I’m here, dude. I bought these tickets to a VH1 event at the off chance Mariah Carey would be there and drink too much and have to pee at the exact same time I was in the bathroom. My plan was flawless!
The list of people who I’d like to drive the base of my palm up into their nose is shorter than you might think, but just to let you know, Diddy is on it twice. He has no real discernible talent other than convincing The Notorious B.I.G. to be his friend, yet he walks around usually doing stuff like this:
A witness outside downtown hot spot GoldBar the other night said, “He walked right up to the door girl with four other people in his crew. When she asked him how many people he was with, Diddy just called her a ‘fucking bitch’ and opened the velvet rope and let himself through.”
Yeah. I wonder how differently that would’ve gone if he wasn’t talking to a chick with a headset and a clipboard. If I had to guess, it would’ve involved Diddy trying not to lose count as he put his teeth in his pocket and trying to find something to hide the smell of urine. Jesus, man. Take a break on the asparagus.
Here’s Kelly Brook because she’s not a bucktoofed clown:
I know we spend a lot of our time ripping celebrities here but no matter how black my heart is, it’s always refreshing to hear something positive. No, not the results of Paris’ AIDS test. Something like this:
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt put world leaders in the shade yesterday by highlighting education and conservation issues at the Clinton Global Initiative in Midtown. Pitt announced that he’ll commit $5 million to build 150 homes in the 9th ward of New Orleans, while his partner in the venture, Steve Bing, will commit another $5 million. Jolie, meanwhile, shared some big ideas of her own: representing Education Partnership for Children of Conflict, she spoke about the initiative’s pledge to educate 1 million children.”
Love them or hate them, nobody can deny that these two are socially conscious and make every attempt to use their fame and fortune to raise awareness, help others, and make real change in the world. Just like Al Sharpton.
Not true,” the actress’s mother, Dina Lohan, 45, told Access Hollywood in an e-mail, “staying in Utah.” A source close to the star also tells PEOPLE: “Lindsay is not leaving Cirque Lodge in Utah any time soon. She has a few more weeks to grow and develop, and she is doing great.”
I’m not sure why she’s still in there anyway, because every time we see her she’s either standing around smoking or going on a hike. Or white water rafting. Is this rehab or summer camp? When she gets out, she’ll still go face first in a pile of blow, but at least she’ll know how to make a delicious S’more. Mmmm, yummy!
Here are the first images of a nude Natalie Portman in the 13 minute short, Hotel Chevalier. The short, a loose prequel to the upcoming film The Darjeeling Limited, stars Portman and Jason Schwartzman and takes place in a single Paris hotel room. IMDB says it’s about, “one heartbreaking history of love and the prologue of the travel told in The Darjeeling Limited,” but maybe they shouldn’t have wasted all that time trying to make it sound all fancy and just said, “Natalie Portman takes her clothes off and bangs some dude.” That would make any movie interesting. Especially in something like Ratatouille. I found that it was more concerned with entertaining kids.
No bra, stained shirt, nipples pointing Southeast and Southwest, shirt-buttons hanging on for dear life, hideous boots … yep, that’s Britney. Now, I’m particularly fond of the hair extensions which were obviously done on a crackhead’s porch between Normandie & Western in exchange for a rock.
And what color is that hair, exactly? Asphalt?
My favorite part of these pictures are the not real-looking at all colored contact lenses which are doing a piss poor job of hiding Britney’s blown pupils. She only has around 500 Kilowatts of flash bulbs in her eyes right now and they still can’t manage to constrict. Britney looks like a less intelligent thrift store mannequin who befriended a less attractive version of Tera Patrick.
P.S. I didn’t have the energy to properly quote and tackle this entire mile-long, several page article printed by News of the World. In summary, it calls Britney out on being a meth smoking, coke snorting, child abusing, all around psycho, dirtbag alcoholic whore. But I figured that was obvious. However, as per your requests, I’m posting the link to the article.