Britney Spears is Still Retarded

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Scared that she may lose her kids in her ongoing custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline, sources say Britney Spears is hoping a move to London will help her escape the stress of the situation.

She thinks her only hope is to move to London for a fresh start. She is so scared about losing her boys that her mind is racing trying to think of how to keep them. Britney thinks she can arrive in London and blend in with the locals. But she doesn’t have a clue how to write a cheque.”

Many believed that Britney had already fled to Europe after a Belgium restaurant owner claimed she used his bathroom, but lucky for us, Britney is still in LA:

In fact, according to eyewitnesses, the beleaguered singer drove around the Beverly Hills area for hours with her children in the backseat of her Mercedes. Britney, along with her boys, who had been brought to her home earlier that morning, exited her gated community this afternoon and drove for two hours without stopping, eventually returning home at 6:30pm. She drove 20 miles north up the 101 freeway in rush hour traffic toward the community of Calabasas. “The kids were in the back of the car and Britney just seemed to be driving aimlessly,” says an eyewitness tells OK! “She was going up and down random streets in different neighborhoods.”

Seriously, does Kevin Federline even need a lawyer at this point? A loaded gun would be a better mother than Britney Spears.

Image thanks to Gallery of the Absurd

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