Tera Patrink By jenny August 31, 2007

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Fergie Fug [Hollywood Rag]
Rihanna and her wig are still trying to be sexy [Hollywood Tuna]
George Clooney is short [Just Jared]
The Gyllenhaals want to be the Wonder Twins [Dlisted]
Cinematic Swamp Ass (Balls of Fury) [Pajiba]
Keira Knightley talks about kissing [Popsugar]
Tricia Helfer does FHM [City Rag]
More of drunk Sienna Miller [ASL]
Jeff Goldblum tries to seduce Conan O’Brien [Popoholic]
Hayden Panettiere does FHM [Egotastic]
Rose McGowan is see through (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Jesse Jane’s porn tits (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

Tera Patrick @ Boost Mobile Hot Import Nights on August 25:

Fergie Fug [Hollywood Rag] Rihanna and her wig are still trying to be sexy [Hollywood Tuna] George Clooney is short [Just Jared] The Gyllenhaals want to be the Wonder Twins…

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Rihanna Should Have Let Go By todd August 31, 2007

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Rihanna showed up at the NASCAR sponsored California Speedway’s Running Wide Open party the other day and from the looks of it, she spent most of her time trying to keep her top from falling down. I don’t know why she’s so stuck up. Last time I checked, she had a gigantic forehead and uncontrollable acne. Unless her boobs are covered in dragon scales or she eyes on her nipples, I’m not seeing how letting her top fall down would’ve been embarrassing.

Rihanna showed up at the NASCAR sponsored California Speedway’s Running Wide Open party the other day and from the looks of it, she spent most of her time trying to…

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Sienna Miller is Drunk and Screaming By todd August 31, 2007

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A drunk Sienna Miller screamed at a bunch of photographers in London last night at the the opening of her new fashion store Twenty8Twelve. Apparently in London when you take somebody’s picture, you’re a rapist. The Sun reports:

The actress, who looked severely the worse for wear, was at the opening of her new fashion shop Twenty8Twelve in London’s smart Notting Hill. She was there with “friend” Rhys Ifans, who was hitting the sauce heavily as well … She shouted: “Fuck off, you fuckiing shits. “See you in court, you fucking rapists.” One photographer who was at the launch said he was shocked at the outburst. He said: “I was quite flabbergasted. “We were just doing our jobs, all we were trying to do was get some quotes on how the opening of the shop went and she called us all rapists. “It’s an outrageous term to use for such a petty little thing as being at a party and being photographed. “It was completely the wrong context to use that word.”

Wow, that’s a pretty healthy self-esteem for a chick who’s only famous for fucking Jude Law while he was married. She’s also supposed to be some sort of British fashion icon, but in reality, she was born in New York and dresses like she just won the Miss Women’s Shelter pageant. Not really someone you’d want to rape. She’s no Whoopi Goldberg.

Image source: Daily Mail

A drunk Sienna Miller screamed at a bunch of photographers in London last night at the the opening of her new fashion store Twenty8Twelve. Apparently in London when you take…

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Britney Spears’ New Music Sucks Ass By todd August 31, 2007

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Britney Spears will debut her new single Gimme More at this year’s MTV VMAs, and if you thought that it couldn’t get any worse, it just did. New York Daily News reports:

The new dance track meant to resurrect the pop tart’s stale career is out, and it begins with a defiant declaration: “It’s Britney, bitch.”…The paparazzi magnet plans to appear Sept. 9 on the MTV Video Music Awards, where “Mindfreak” magician Criss Angel will use his best illusions to try to conjure up a comeback for her. Angel will guide Spears in and out of a series of mirrors, making it seem as though she vanishes and then reappears several times, a source told the Daily News yesterday. Other dancers in the complicated number are being called upon to harness up for simulated flight, the source said.”

Well, you really don’t have to guess if this piece of crap is going to be lip-synced or not. It is. Not that it matters, because even with the producer’s magic wand, Britney’s voice still sounds like one of Michael Vick’s dogs after it lost a fight. I was going to post the lyrics, but then I realized I’d have to listen to it again. Sorry, but I’d rather hear the audio of me being set on fire.

Note: In case you didn’t know, producer Tricky Stewart wrote Rihanna’s #1 hit, Umbrella, for Britney, but Britney couldn’t be bothered to return his calls.

Listen to Britney’s Gimme More after the jump…

Listen to Britney’s Cold as Fire after the jump…



Update: Yes, the cigarette was lit…

Britney Spears will debut her new single Gimme More at this year’s MTV VMAs, and if you thought that it couldn’t get any worse, it just did. New York Daily…

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Amy Winehouse is Trying to Get Pregnant By todd August 31, 2007

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Deciding that rehab just wasn’t the right thing for her after she fell into a coma due to an overdose of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, horse tranquilizers, and ketamine in a London bar on August 8th, Amy Winehouse is doing what any heroin addict would do. She’s making well thought out, logical decisions. Her plan to help her and her husband solve their relationship problems and kick drugs? A baby. NME reports:

…that hasn’t stopped her “friend” revealing that Amy and Blake have been rutting like rabbits in an attempt to get her pregnant. “She really believes having a baby would help them put their troubles behind them,” the “buddy” explained.”

Trust me, a baby won’t solve your problems. I was in a bank one time when it was robbed and when the dude wanted my wallet I tried to give him the baby of the lady standing next to me. Turns out he still wanted my wallet. I hope that baby’s happy. Thanks for nothing, you little bastard.

Aww yeah, baby:

Deciding that rehab just wasn’t the right thing for her after she fell into a coma due to an overdose of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, horse tranquilizers, and ketamine in a…

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Jessica Simpson is Jealous By todd August 30, 2007

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Although magazines keep telling me that she’s an international sex symbol, Jessica Simpson still can’t find a man and is now reportedly jealous over her ex-boyfriend John Mayer’s relationship with Cameron Diaz:

A source close to the singer tells Us Simpson is “really jealous” that ex John Mayer is seeing Cameron Diaz. “She had her mouth open a mile wide when she found out,” says the source. “She just freaked.” Simpson, 27, parted ways with Mayer, 29, in May after dating him on and off for seven months, and “she thinks about him all the time,” says the source. “She is so not over him.”

We’d all have to agree that the real loser in all this is John Mayer’s penis. It’s attached to a famous musician and all it can seem to get into is two of the most overrated beasts in Hollywood. When asked how he felt, John Mayer’s penis said, “Hey man, do me favor. See that knife over there?”

Jessica Simpson in L.A. a few days ago:

Cameron Diaz on a date with John Mayer a few nights ago:

Source

Although magazines keep telling me that she’s an international sex symbol, Jessica Simpson still can’t find a man and is now reportedly jealous over her ex-boyfriend John Mayer’s relationship with…

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Britney Spears is Coming Back By todd August 30, 2007

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Britney Spears has been making a comeback for like three years now, and finally, our prayers have been answered. She’s going to be the opening act for this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. US Magazine says:

Of primary importance: her collaboration with Criss Angel on an opening act for MTV’s Video Music Awards, which she reportedly presented to network reps on August 27. “She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.” One early idea that was canned? Performing “My Prerogative” amid a medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline, 29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her.”

Oh yeah, baby! I can’t wait, because no matter how long they plan this, it’s still going to end up being the dumbest thing you have ever seen on television. Criss Angel is basically Harry Potter with eyeliner and Britney Spears is a retard, so she should consider it a success if she’s able keep her wig on and doesn’t have to use her inhaler.

Larger versions of Britney forgetting her pants and her other blue contact lens:

Images via ubrit.com

Britney Spears has been making a comeback for like three years now, and finally, our prayers have been answered. She’s going to be the opening act for this year’s MTV…

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Paris Hilton is Still a Bitch By todd August 30, 2007

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Apparently since nobody wants to hang out with her, Paris Hilton reportedly called her ex-friend Mischa Barton wanting to mend their relationship. It turned out exactly the way you imagined:

[Paris was] cooing about mending their prickly relationship – and gushing that of all her frenemies, she’s missed the ex-”O.C.” star the most! Said a source: “Paris then went into a rant about the mess Nicole Richie’ made of her life, how Britney Spears snubbed her – and that Lindsay Lohan’s white trash and destined to be dead soon.” Soured by Paris’s poison tongue, Mischa blew off an invite for a just-us-girlies get-together…and hung up abruptly. Just days later…you guessed it!… Mischa heard Paris was slamming her as “a jealous witch!”

Yeah, that has to be it. Mischa Barton is just jealous. Because, really, what woman wouldn’t be? Herpes, size 14 feet, glass eye, DUI conviction, video of her sucking dick on the internet. Paris has it all, man.

What Paris did over the last 2 days:

Source

Apparently since nobody wants to hang out with her, Paris Hilton reportedly called her ex-friend Mischa Barton wanting to mend their relationship. It turned out exactly the way you imagined:…

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Nick Hogan is Screwed By todd August 30, 2007



Although Clearwater police have yet to release any information regarding their investigation into the car accident that left John J. Graziano in critical condition, several witnesses have come forward and revealed that Nick Hogan was racing a 2006 silver Dodge Viper coupe through the streets of downtown Clearwater when he lost control and struck a palm tree and a median. Nice.

Frances Vitalis, a Plant City registered nurse, was riding home from Clearwater Beach on a motorcycle with a friend Sunday when she saw Bollea’s yellow Toyota Supra and the silver Viper speeding between traffic lights. “We knew something was going to happen,” Vitalis said Tuesday. “You know that this is a bad situation and these guys are hotdogging.” The roads were slick from scattered summer showers. One car would speed away, then the next would catch up, she said. The cat-and-mouse game ended when the Supra fish-tailed and crashed into a palm tree, Vitalis said. She ran to the car and tried to open the driver’s door and then the passenger’s door. The car was so mangled they wouldn’t open, she said.”

At this point, Hulk Hogan should probably retain Jesus or a Native American shaman, because if Graziano dies, that’s gross vehicular manslaughter. A charge that holds a maximum sentence of 15 years in prison. Not to worry, because that shouldn’t be a problem for Nick. He’s Hulk Hogan’s son and he killed an Iraqi war veteran, so nobody should fuck with him in prison. Nobody at all.

John J. Graziano

Source

Update: In an interview in the upcoming issue of Rides magazine, Nick Hogan calls his gay yellow Toyota Supra a “pussy magnet” and that he routinely races his sister and his parents. Be sure you read this part, it was my favorite:

In my silver Viper, I was driving from Miami to Tampa. I got pulled over going 107 [mph] and the guy let me off. He’s like, “Hey, I know who you are, just keep going, ya know.” Dude, I got back on the road and two minutes later I get pulled over going 113 [mph]. Another highway patrol from the same county said, “I just heard on the radio that my buddy pulled you over and let you go. I’ma let you go this time. It’s your second warning. You get pulled over again, you’re probably going to go to jail.” Three minutes later, [I was] doing 123 [mph] in a 50 [mph zone]. The guy is like, “Hey, I just heard you got pulled over twice in the last 10 minutes. I got to write you a ticket.”

Source

Although Clearwater police have yet to release any information regarding their investigation into the car accident that left John J. Graziano in critical condition, several witnesses have come forward and…

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Hallink Berry By jenny August 29, 2007

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Bobby Brown is living in his car [Dlisted]
Parents of Miss Teen South Carolina [College Humor]
Definitely Lost In Translation (The Nanny Diaries) [Pajiba]
Ryan Phillippe is happy and drunk [Popsugar]
Kimberly Stewart is shopping and Photoshopping [Hollywood Rag]
Luke Wilson visits his brother [Just Jared]
Cindy Crawford is stacked [Hollywood Tuna]
Hilary Swank has less boobs [Egotastic]
Jessica Alba’s fake nipples [City Rag]
Lindsay Lohan gets down on a toilet [ASL]
Jaime Pressly does Arena UK [Popoholic]
Sheryl Crow has nipples (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Megan Fox gets free shit (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]

Bobby Brown is living in his car [Dlisted] Parents of Miss Teen South Carolina [College Humor] Definitely Lost In Translation (The Nanny Diaries) [Pajiba] Ryan Phillippe is happy and drunk…

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