Paris Hilton is Broke By todd July 30, 2007

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In what may be the greatest news of all time, Conrad ‘Barron’ Hilton, 79, Paris Hilton’s billionaire grandfather, has cut off his entire family from their inheritance in order to donate his fortune to charitable foundations because of Paris’ behavior. Paris, who was set to receive $59 million, will now receive nothing:

He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris,” says Jerry Oppenheimer, author of House Of Hilton. “He doesn’t want to leave unearned wealth to his family.” Hilton senior recently acquired a hefty $2.4 billion after selling off a massive chunk of his hotel chain to private equity firm Blackstone. Given her grandfathers disapproval, Miss Hilton is now working hard to cash in on her fame while she can.”

Paris Hilton’s fame is based on her being an heiress, but now she’s not, so hopefully people will no longer hire this dumb slut. It probably won’t matter after what the rest of Conrad’s 11 other grandkids are going to do to Paris. My guess? Stoning.

Source

In what may be the greatest news of all time, Conrad ‘Barron’ Hilton, 79, Paris Hilton’s billionaire grandfather, has cut off his entire family from their inheritance in order to…

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Britney Spears Causes Trouble in Las Vegas By jenny July 27, 2007

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Britney Spears flew her kids and her babysitters/bodyguards via private jet to Las Vegas yesterday which will likely play against her in her custody battle with K-Fed since it was against California law to do it.

Under California law, neither parent is allowed to take a child out of state without written permission from the other – or by obtaining a court order. According to a source close to Federline, Spears failed to notify her ex or his attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, that she was taking the children to Las Vegas.”

During her trip she ate, shopped and pampered herself at a spa. Later, she and her bodyguard got in a fight with some paparazzi and pretty much everyone involved filed charges with Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, one charge of battery was filed on behalf of Sean Preston. I’ll consolidate all the news stories and give you the short version. Basically, some paparazzi were snapping pictures of Britney in front of the Wynn. Britney’s steroided out, thug bodyguard shoved one of the photogs out of the way and caused him to bump in to Britney’s son, Sean Preston, who was being held by one of Britney’s bodyguards. Then the bodyguard went insane and beat up the photog. Metro police took statements from everyone, and the management of the Wynn kicked Britney and everyone with her out of the hotel.

I’ve lived in Vegas most of my life, so I can’t tell you how proud I am of the Wynn for telling this skank to get the fuck out. The Wynn is one of the most upscale hotel properties in town, so they don’t need some non-gambling leech, pain in the ass staying there and hurting their reputation with her attention whoring bullshit. That’s what The Palms is for. People, who are more rich and famous than Britney, come here every day and take advantage of all the private and secure accommodations available to them and shield themselves from paparazzi attention, but Britney (even with her children) is careless and stupid. Furthermore, Britney didn’t come here to entertain her kids. Everything she did in Vegas was for herself, so there was no reason for those kids to be here in the first place. They would’ve had more fun helping K-Fed shop for a new baby mama back in L.A.

Images thanks to BritneySpears.pl

Story sources: MSNBC and Las Vegas local news

Update: Extra sent us an email claiming a Wynn public relations rep sent them a statement saying Britney left on her own. So in translation, this is simply professional damage control. This is like a high-profile employee being asked to retire to help avoid the employee’s record reflecting they were actually fired.

Britney Spears flew her kids and her babysitters/bodyguards via private jet to Las Vegas yesterday which will likely play against her in her custody battle with K-Fed since it was…

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Linki Klum By jenny July 27, 2007

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Angelina Jolie is hot and animated in Beowulf [Just Jared]
Isla Fischer (Borat/Ali G’s girlfriend) admits she’s knocked up [Dlisted]
Scarlett Johansson should borrow money from Woody Allen [Hollywood Rag]
J-Lo’s new movie is going to suck [Popsugar]
Rachel Stevens in FHM [Hollywood Tuna]
Homewrecker Claire Danes needs a bra [Egotastic]
Lisa Rinna’s lips are stupid [City Rag]
Dark Knight trailer leaked? [Popoholic]
In case you missed it, Beyonce lip-syncing and falling [College Humor]
Ashley Olsen in a see through dress (Eww.) (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Jennifer Ellison is a $2 hooker (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Lindsay Lohan’s shitty parents go to court [ASL]
Danielle Lloyd in a new bikini shoot [Horny Oyster]
Greatest. Movie. Ever? (The Simpsons Movie) [Pajiba]

Angelina Jolie is hot and animated in Beowulf [Just Jared] Isla Fischer (Borat/Ali G’s girlfriend) admits she’s knocked up [Dlisted] Scarlett Johansson should borrow money from Woody Allen [Hollywood Rag]…

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Nicole Richie is Pregnant and Going to Jail By todd July 27, 2007

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Nicole Richie showed up to court today to face charges for second DUI conviction, and was sentenced to four days in jail with six hours time served. TMZ reports:

A court commissioner sentenced Richie, represented by uber-lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley, to serve four days in the City or County Jail (her choice!) — she got credit for a fifth day, for the six hours she served after being busted.

Richie was also fined $2,048, was ordered back to school for 21 days to an alcohol education course and on three years probation.

Richie must report to serve her time by September 28.

The commissioner issued Richie a stern warning, telling her if she she drove drunk again and she actually killed someone she could be charged with murder — not manslaughter. That’s because after her first DUI, Richie agreed that if she drove under the influence and killed someone, she’d be nailed for murder.

The 25-year-old is expected to give birth sometime in January.”

I hate Nicole Richie, so to me this news is like the morning sun or the sound of a child’s laughter. Unless it’s Nicole Richie’s child’s laughter, then it would sound something like a rabid dog or a Velociraptor and that would scare me.

Nicole and Joel earlier this month:

Nicole Richie showed up to court today to face charges for second DUI conviction, and was sentenced to four days in jail with six hours time served. TMZ reports: A…

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Gemma Atkinson is For No Reason By todd July 27, 2007



I really need to move to England and get it over with, because there have been way too many British chicks on here lately. One of the hottest, of course, is Gemma Atkinson and here is her new photo shoot. Atkinson, 22, is a model and actress on the successful British television series Holyoaks. She’s recently been linked to blah, blah, asadwefwf, ywefwiuegfwu, please tell me you’re not still reading this dude.

I really need to move to England and get it over with, because there have been way too many British chicks on here lately. One of the hottest, of course,…

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Britney Spears is a Great Boss By jenny July 27, 2007

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If you’re looking for a new job, today is your lucky day because Britney Spears just fired her assistant less than three weeks after she was hired. Shannon Funk, was fired on July 25 because she was apparently making Britney look bad. Um, yeah:

Britney felt a lot of her recent troubles started and stopped with Shannon…Britney thought she was talking badly about her. She was very rude and Britney felt she was letting business emails fall by the wayside.”

This is the second Britney Spears assistant to quit or get “fired” this month, so try not to believe this PR bullshit. This Shannon chick probably ran out screaming when she walked in on Britney trying to dip her cat in butter or trying to give her kids a bath in Clorox. “Dat burnin’ mains it’s cleanin’, ya’ll!”

Britney and Shannon during happier times:

Source

If you’re looking for a new job, today is your lucky day because Britney Spears just fired her assistant less than three weeks after she was hired. Shannon Funk, was…

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Lindsay Lohan is Insane By todd July 27, 2007

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In an exclusive interview with TMZ, three men have come forward claiming that Lindsay Lohan carjacked their Denali and took them on a high speed chase down Malibu’s Pacific Coast Highway, leaving them fearful for their lives the night Lindsay was arrested for her second DUI (yes, it’s long):

Dante Nigro, Jakon Sutter and Ronnie Blake drove to Malibu with the boyfriend of Lindsay Lohan’s assistant. Lindsay and her assistant ran into Dante and friends. Later, the assistant text-messaged Dante, saying Lindsay wanted to invite him to a Malibu party that night. Later, Dante says, he and his friends drove to the party. Dante and the assistant’s boyfriend were let in, but Jakon and Ronnie were rejected and stayed outside. Dante says Lindsay was never without a drink during the evening and he even did a shot with her. At one point, Lindsay’s assistant and her boyfriend walked outside and got into an argument. Lindsay came out and got angry at her assistant. The assistant then said, “I quit,” which enraged Lindsay. Ronnie says Lindsay looked “very messed up” and “raging.” Dante and crew were ready to leave. The GMC Denali they were in belonged to Dante, but he was sitting in the front passenger seat. Ronnie and Jakon were in the back seat. The assistant’s boyfriend was behind the wheel. The keys were in the ignition when the assistant’s boyfriend got out and continued the argument with his girlfriend. She then got in her car and left. According to the group, Lindsay suddenly jumped in the driver’s seat of the Denali, started the engine and began driving — chasing the assistant’s car. Ronnie says he was so fearful, he jumped out of the vehicle as it accelerated. Just as he hit the ground, he says Lindsay ran over his foot and just kept going. Dante and Jakon say Lindsay then hit Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. Dante says he tried to grab the wheel, prompting Lindsay to say, “If you touch me I’ll sue you.” Jakon says they pleaded with her to stop. Dante says they were going 100 MPH. They say Lindsay caught up with the assistant and began doing circles on PCH, around the assistant’s car. They say at one point, Lindsay boasted, “I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want.”

The two cars stopped in a parking lot near the cop shop. When police arrived, Dante says it seemed as if Lindsay told officers, “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.”

Dante and Jakon say they saw Lindsay flunk the field sobriety test. They say when she tried touching her nose, she almost fell over.”

Holy shit, she’s fucked. Please keep in mind that not only two days ago, Lindsay Lohan said this, now we find out that…whoa, wait a sec, the white guy’s name is “Dante Nigro?” Man, I hope he attaches a picture to his resume.


Part 2 of the video here, and Part 3 of the video here.

Update: TMZ has the 911 tapes the night of Lindsay’s DUI here.

In an exclusive interview with TMZ, three men have come forward claiming that Lindsay Lohan carjacked their Denali and took them on a high speed chase down Malibu’s Pacific Coast…

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Amy Winehouse is Gorgeous By todd July 26, 2007

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Amy Winehouse is a drunk and a meth freak so she’ll probably be dead soon, but damn, if she isn’t hot. I don’t know if it’s the sideburns or the rotting teeth, but I think I’m in love. On second thought, I think it may be her voluptuous body. Just look at those boobs, baby. Any woman who can survive a tiger attack and still look that beautiful might be the one I finally open up my heart to. My friends keep telling me I should just let go and put myself out there again.

Note: I didn’t think it was possible for her to look more gross than this, but apparently Amy is pretty committed.

Source and more pictures at Daily Mail

Amy Winehouse is a drunk and a meth freak so she’ll probably be dead soon, but damn, if she isn’t hot. I don’t know if it’s the sideburns or the…

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Keeley Hazell is Stressed By todd July 26, 2007

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My penis is deeply concerned about these pictures of Keeley at The Simpson’s Movie UK premiere. Either she just teleported with a fly, or she has a bit of an acne problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still go Law & Order: SVU on it, but I just wish I could go back in time to five minutes ago. Back to the time when the first word that popped in my head when I thought about this chick wasn’t “astringent.”

Update: Topless Keeley, because I couldn’t help myself (NSFW):

My penis is deeply concerned about these pictures of Keeley at The Simpson’s Movie UK premiere. Either she just teleported with a fly, or she has a bit of an…

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Denise Richards is Photogenic By todd July 26, 2007

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I just checked IMDb and Denise Richards is still waiting for Lifetime or Radio Shack to call her agent, so I have no idea why these pictures were taken. Apparently she just thought it would be a good idea to try on bikinis in her backyard. Normally I’m all for that, but what the fuck happened to her hands?? Did they kill the zombie after it bit her? Does she need to cut them off before it spreads? I mean, I wish somebody would speak up, because if there are zombies out there, that information would pretty good to know.

More razor burned and wrinkled goodness:

Update: Denise’s labia, by request (NSFW):

I just checked IMDb and Denise Richards is still waiting for Lifetime or Radio Shack to call her agent, so I have no idea why these pictures were taken. Apparently…

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