Paris Hilton Isn’t Hungry



Officials at the Lynwood jail have threatened to put Paris on a feeding tube if she continues to refuse to eat. Paris, 25, who was listed at 110 pounds when she entered jail, now reportedly weighs 100 pounds.

After she was transferred back, Paris refused to eat. Staff became worried as she seems very thin with her bones poking out. She was also very weak and lethargic. They threatened to put her on an intravenous drip to rehydrate her and give her some nourishment unless she started eating. She has since managed to get a little food down, but doctors are closely monitoring her.”

It’s times like these when I wished I worked in that jail. I’d take Paris her food, hold it through the bars, then snatch it back real fast when she tried to reach for it. I’d do that for a while then I’d do the thing where I pretend I’m about to drop it, then laugh and tell the guards she refused to eat. Then I’d put in her feeding tube and fill her with warm nutritious goodness. Like battery acid.

Nicky and Kathy Hilton worrying and holding a vigil at the Free Paris rally. Oh wait, no, I mean “out shopping”:

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