More MTV Movie Awards Crap

Jessica Biel has a perfect ass but apparently she had to leave right after the show to grade papers or return a library book or whatever it is that chicks in boring dresses go do.

I’m positive that Eva Mendes is one of the X-Men and her power has something to do with her two foot long man-hands. Like picking up airplanes, punching through mountains, and not being offended when guys pass on handjobs.

Mandy Moore showed up with her incredibly gorgeous boyfriend. From that look in his eye, you know he can’t wait to go home and fix her computer. How did she get so lucky?!

Note: I’m aware that is John Krasinski. That was my sarcastic way of spelling out how different and dorky he looked last night.

I’ve liked Meagan Good ever since I saw her in Brick, but um, is she an evil genius now? What’s with the eyebrows? I was just hoping to break in your house and see you naked, not be dangled over a mutant shark tank because I stumbled onto your plan for world domination.

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