Like in this leaked clip of Lucy Liu and the underrated Carla Gugino in Rise: The Blood Hunters, lesbians are sexy even when they’re covered in blood. In reality, most lesbians have mullets and fanny packs and wear NBA jerseys. In Hollywood, they wear school girl outfits and thongs. Next door, they’re having a Wiccan ceremony and asking me to recycle. On set, they’re having pillow fights and bathing each other. If I saw a vampire and a chick in jean shorts with a tattoo on her neck walking toward me, I wouldn’t know who to stake in the heart first.
Carla Gugino by request: