Jessica Simpson Thinks Beds are Toilets

Which blond bombshell, on a recent visit to Rome, became ill and soiled her bedsheets so badly that the hotel mattress had to be replaced? “Also, she and [her boyfriend] have a reputation for really dirty sex,” says a snitch.

My powers of deduction are legendary at the academy, but this was pretty easy to figure out since Papa Joe Simpson leaked this story to the press earlier this month, and Jessica and John Mayer were in Rome last month. So, if you’ve ever wondered what carnal pleasures that Jessica Simpson has to offer, look no further my friends! Now how is this gonna be, you may ask? Well, that Depends. Get it? It Depends!

Jessica falling out of her shirt a few nights ago:

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