Underwear Confuses Jake Gyllenhaal

Hey, you know that rumor about Jake Gyllenhaal being gay? Yeah, this doesn’t help:

A shopper in Bloomingdale’s underwear department recently watched the “Brokeback Mountain” star with a salesman “combing through every style . . . A good 10 minutes later, Jake was still at it . . . holding up a pair of tight white briefs that he’d pulled out of the package to examine, as if he’d never seen tighty whities before in his entire life. It was hilarious. He looked very confused and had a furrowed brow… He was examining undies like an anthropologist in the city’s most highly trafficked department store.”

With all the effort Jake put into picking them out, I really hope his boyfriend likes his new underwear, because there’s no way a straight dude would spend ten minutes in a store. Ever. The only exception is the day before Christmas. Then it’s more like twenty. Fifteen if your wife and girlfriend like the same kinda stuff.