Orlando Bloom is All Over It


Although she lost the Oscar for Best Actress, Penelope Cruz found consolation at Prince’s Oscar party:

Penélope and Orlando couldn’t keep their hands off one another – they were making out the whole night,” says a witness. “It was crazy! Touching, kissing – even a little bit of groping. And in view of tons of actors, too, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Gosling.”

You have to give Orlando Bloom credit for seeing a vulnerable woman as an opportunity for sex, especially since he’s widely rumored to be a closet homosexual. I’m not saying he is, but considering his last two girlfriends were Kirsten Dunst and Kate Bosworth, the guy is pretty much asking for it. Kirsten Dunst looks like she was born in Chernobyl and Kate Bosworth should be standing behind barbed wire. You don’t need a psychiatrist to tell you that Orlando was probably really good at accessorizing his Barbie dolls and writing in his journal.

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