Lindsay Lohan Has Noassatall

You’d think Lindsay Lohan wouldn’t have to rehearse to be a stripper, but here she is entering Shelia Kelley’s S Factor, a place where rich, bored L.A. housewives pay hundreds of dollars to learn to give lap dances. I don’t know the CGI budget on her upcoming movie, but they might have to crunch the numbers because it’s going to take alien technology to make this freckled mess have anything resembling an ass. Usually taking it up the butt is supposed to make it bigger, so at this point, she should be a slutty version of Jessica Biel. And really, isn’t that what we all want friends? Of course we do.

* Images removed per request.