Britney Spears Has a New Boyfriend

Taking time out from being mentally unstable, Britney Spears has reportedly sparked a romance with musician she met in AA. Jason Filyaw, 33, the lead guitarist for the rock band, Riva, and Spears plan to move in with each other once she is out of rehab. The pair are said to email and call each other constantly and are even said to have pet names for each other – “he calls her Sugar, Kitten and My Lady; she calls him Mr. Secret Underground Guy and J-Sun.”

Britney adores Jason. He’s been a tower of strength for her at the lowest point in her life. She’s convinced Jason can help her through rehab because as an alcoholic, he’s been through the same thing.”

Britney Spears is a codependent mess, so all it’s going to take is for this guy to dump her and she’ll be a complete wreck again. And who are we kidding, it won’t take long. I give it a week before he realizes Britney is only good at smoking cigarettes and being retarded. There’s no telling how she’ll handle it. My guess? Pie.

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