Ashlee Simpson is a Succubus


Recently single after her fling with Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson reportedly hooked up with the The Neptunes’ Chad Hugo (this dude) at the L.A. club, Le Deux, Saturday night. Page Six reports:

She tried to pick up Ryan Phillipe, but he wasn’t interested. So then she hung out with Chad all night and left with him.” Simpson’s rep fumed, “That is not true. She is working with Chad on her new album. There is nothing romantic going on.”

Wait, Ryan Phillipe?? The Simpson sisters usually date ugly poseur musicians, so you have to give credit to Ashlee for trying. No Simpson has overreached like this since Ron Goldman got stabbed. Ryan Phillipe could walk into a sorority house and be, at worst, the third prettiest thing in the room. I like vagina, but I’d probably date him. And let’s be honest here, I’ve had worse.

Ashlee last month:

Ryan Phillippe (pre-Reese break up):