Angelina, Anna Nicole, Rosie and Brad are News

Despite reports that she is not, Vietnam’s top adopting official says Angelina Jolie has filed papers to adopt a child from the Tam Binh orphanage. When asked for comment Angelina’s neighbor said, “Another fuckin foreigner?! My property has already depreciated because I live next door to Mowgli and Little African Annie, now I gotta deal with…hey look, Angelina’s tits…okay, what were we talking about?”

Anna Nicole Smith’s body was escorted by police to the Miami International Airport where it was transported to the Bahamas for burial. They even used the ice from Anna’s feet for Margaritas. Gotta keep the party going, baby!

You can watch live streaming video of the funeral here.

Inside Anna’s funeral – TMZ

Rosie O’Donnell left co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck in tears after Rosie attacked her on Wednesday’s show for supporting government’s access to citizens’ phone conversations. This was reportedly the last straw for Hasselbeck and she is now looking for a permanent spot on E!. Meanwhile, Rosie is looking for brownies and whipped cream to put on her Hardee’s Thickburger.

AP’s Paris Hilton ban ends after one week. The results? “None of the thousands of media outlets that depend on AP called in asking for a Paris Hilton story. No one felt a newsworthy event had been ignored.” Newsworthy? I have two words for you: public and beheading. Discuss.

Brad Pitt and Shiloh
yesterday in New Orleans:

Update: Here’s the O’Donnell/Hasselbeck clip. There’s really no reason for Elisabeth to cry over Rosie’s ranting, but somebody should remind Rosie that SCREAMING LOUDER THAN EVERYONE doesn’t mean you’re right or you win. It just means you’re obnoxious (and fat). Maybe Elisabeth’s ears hurt, and that’s why she cried. – Thanks to Best Week Ever