Yeah, I know you try not to care. So do we. However, Lindsay Lohan’s career would be nothing without crap like this. Choosing against posting pictures like these is like trying to ignore a tanker truck explosion.
David Beckham has a reputation as a serial cheater, and what he did at London’s Nobu the other night will do anything but help. Sitting with his wife next to a table where former model Kelly Killoren Bensimon (this chick) was eating, Bekham basically raped Bensimon with his eyes the whole night. Page Six reports:
Beckham was straining his neck to check Kelly out the entire time. Everyone at her table was commenting on it,” a witness said. “Finally, Posh got up and left, and she barely ate anything.” A rep for Beckham told us, “If David was checking anyone out, it was his wife.”
You really can’t blame the dude, because well, he’s David Beckham. He’s Michael Jordan if Michael Jordan looked like Brad Pitt and lived in a castle. He probably can’t walk three feet without tripping over a pair of wet panties. His wife, on the other hand, looks like she should be serving drinks on Jabba the Hutt’s sailing barge. I’m not really sure you can call it cheating if it’s in self-defense.
The happy couple at the Sports Industry Awards on March 29th:
I know these pictures of Kelly Clarkson on the beach in Hawaii hit online yesterday, but I’ve been so completely blown away by them that I couldn’t write anything until now. I mean, look how much weight she’s lost! Who says you need to wear a bathing suit or sunscreen to work the beach, because she’s totally holding her own against those skinny little bitches in their tiny bikinis. She’s such an inspiration! You go Kelly! Work it girl!
Ritmo Latino, a Spanish music store chain, has banned all Jennifer Lopez CDs after the “singer” refused to make in-store appearances to promote her first Spanish-language CD, “Como Ama una Mujer” (“How a Woman Loves”). Ritmo president David Massry said:
We’ve supported her from the beginning. Now we’re told by her record company she will only visit Anglo retail outlets…This is a Spanish-language CD, and if she wants to discriminate against the Latin community, then we will not sell her product. This is not the first time this has happened. Celebrities have this notion that when they reach a certain level of crossover appeal, they forget quickly where they started. We will no longer tolerate these situations.”
Jennifer Lopez tells people she’s from “the block,” but the only way she’d stay in the Bronx now is if she was being held hostage. She’s made millions from her overrated ass and other people’s choreography, now she refuses to take time out to thank the only people that still give a shit about her. Puerto Ricans like knives and parades, so Lopez better be careful with how she treats these people, because the next time she sees New York, her head will be on a stick.
At the British premiere of Wild Hogs, where he rode in on a Harley Davidson, John Travolta spoke about the threat of global warming and urged all humans to do their part to help the environment. He said:
It [global warming] is a very valid issue. I’m wondering if we need to think about other planets and dome cities. Everyone can do their bit. But I don’t know if it’s not too late already. We have to think about alternative methods of fuel. I’m probably not the best candidate to ask about global warming because I fly jets.”
And by “fly jets” he means “I own five.” Specifically, a customized Boeing 707, three Gulfstream jets and a Lear jet that he keeps on his private runway. The runway he’s used to take off for each of the 30,000 miles he’s flown in the past 12 months. Miles in which he’s produced an estimated 800 tons of carbon emission, roughly 100 times more than the average human. It’s even more awesome when you find out that John Travolta lends his jets to fellow closeted gay actors who want to have sex without the fear of paparazzi. So, to reiterate, John Travolta wants you to power your house with a bicycle and a car battery, but it’s ok for him to melt the polar ice caps so Jake Gyllenhaal can break in his new butt plug. Yeah, that sounds reasonable.
John Travolta, Ray Liotta and Tim Allen at the Wild Hogs premiere on March 28th:
In the upcoming movie, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Adam Sandler and the fat guy from that one show play New York firefighters who pretend to be gay. I can’t really relate because I live in the South, and pretending to be gay is never an option, so imagine my surprise when I found out that the movie also stars Jessica Biel. Turns out I can totally relate to her perfect ass. If it was any more super, it would have to wear a cape.
We screencapped the best parts for you:
Update: Here’s an edited version of the best parts…
It’s a slow news day, so here are Gemma Atkinson and Roxanne Pallett in bikinis. Unlike the great nation of America, I don’t know much about England except for the fact they seem to have the market cornered on untalented white girls with huge tits. Am I missing something or did we not win the Revolutionary War? England has Keeley Hazell and Kelly Brook. We have Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. We also have the Barrett M468 and the F-22 Raptor. So, what exactly are we waiting for?
Update: Oops, a little late warning – one of these is NSFW thanks to a topless sunbather in the backgroud.
We’ve received quite a few of emails asking for more of these old Hollywood stars thrown in the mix. High quality photos like these are hard to find, and this new batch of Marilyn Monroe was labeled “rare,” so I’m into it. Even less rare than these pictures is Dolly Parton admitting she fantasizes about having sex with women.
Parton says, “When I have sex with my husband these days, I fantasize I am with someone like Keith Urban or a petite, hot young woman.” And the candid conversations don’t end there – Parton told a British magazine her first crush was on a Tennessee hooker. She explains, “I thought she was beautiful. She had more hair, more color, more everything.”
Hey, nothing wrong with that. In fact, I heard that women who have sex with other women are healthier and live twice as long as anyone else, but I try not to tell anyone about it. Because knowledge like this in the wrong (ahem, Britney Spears) hands can be dangerous. Sometimes a short shelf life is good. But don’t say that to the green thing with fur and legs that lives in my vegetable drawer. It has personality. And as they say, personality goes a long way.
Ever the gentleman, Sean “Diddy” Combs revealed that he and girlfriend, Kim Porter, spent a romantic getaway in Paris, where he claims they had tantric sex for 30 hours.
As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it…As meticulous as I am with my work, I’m more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time.”
Sean Combs is completely trustworthy (just ask Shyne), so there’s no way he’s lying about this, right? Well, yeah, yeah he probably is. Because from the look of that banner picture, he couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without a note from his doctor. Besides, what guy wants to have sex for thirty straight hours? You think it’s just a coincidence that an NFL halftime is ten minutes long? Didn’t think so.
Hey look, totally unrelated pictures of Lucy Pinder!