Before she attended the Vienna Opera Ball with construction magnate Richard Lugner (he invites a celebrity every year), Paris Hilton greeted thousands in a Vienna supermarket where she was supposed to sign autographs. That was until people starting pelting her with lipstick and cigarettes. Those wouldn’t have been my weapons of choice, but I’ll take it if it means that people around the world also hate Paris Hilton. It’s not a hard thing to do. Hate is easy. At least that’s what “Donny,” the guy lives in my head said. He also said the pentagram carved in my chest will please our father. What? That’s normal, right?