Britney Spears is the Picture of Mental Health

Sources close to Britney Spears say her recent public meltdown is due to the fact she is afraid she will lose her two children in a custody battle. Upon arriving in L.A. after leaving an Antigua rehab clinic after one day, Britney briefly visited her two sons before arriving at Esther’s Haircutting Studio in Tarzana, California at 6.15pm where she proceeded to shave her head after every hairdresser at the salon refused to do so. Witnesses claim Britney was seen crying for ten minutes prior to entering the studio, and once inside she wasn’t much better. Salon owner Esther Tognozzi :

I tried to talk her out of it, but she said, ‘No I absolutely want it shaved off now.’ Afterwards she looked in the mirror and said with tears in her eyes, ‘Oh, my God, I shaved it all off. My mom is going to be so upset with me.’…She was just there in body and not really emotionally there.”

Britney then left the salon at approximately 7:00pm then “drove aimlessly around LA for 40 minutes” before arriving at Body and Soul Tattoo at 8:00pm where the first images of her shaved head were captured. With hair still all over her clothes, employees claimed Britney was “screaming and flipping out from the pain” and looking “distraught and disturbed”. A witness told Extra:

It did seem a little weird for her head to be shaved…Halfway through she asked for her purse… and she reached in it and pulled out a CD. That CD happened to be Janis Joplin and she asked if we could play it.”

Britney left the tattoo parlor at 10:00pm, returned home, then left ten minutes later. At 2:00am, she was spotted at Cedars Sinai Medical Centre in Beverly Hills wearing a dark wig and begging the staff to “help me”. She left an hour later and returned home. Less than 24 hours later, Britney was seen chain smoking and lounging poolside at West Hollywood’s chic Mondrian hotel with several “dancer looking types” in a blonde wig, the same bikini top she took from the stripper, and a mismatched pink bikini bottom. A source close to Britney said:

“She’s going to have no one who cares about her,” one said. “Even her security is getting fed up. She keeps running them around town until 4:30 in the morning.”

Jesus. If Kevin Federline’s lawyer is reading this, congratulations dude. No need to worry with all that “building a case” stuff anymore, just walk in the courtroom and tell the judge to google “Britney Spears.” The trial will be over in 5 minutes, because no judge in their right mind would give custody to this basket case. Kevin Federline could walk into the courtroom wearing a Spider-Man costume and carrying a severed head and Britney Spears could still only get supervised visits.

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