Lindsay Lohan is Committed By todd January 26, 2007
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Lindsay Lohan took a break from rehab to get her Mercedes SL500 serviced yesterday, causing residents of the Wonderland treatment facility to complain that she is getting special treatment. Besides being upset with the fact that she has the “magic key to the front door,” they say “her peeps come to pamper her — a masseur, hairstylist, makeup artist, etc.”

On Monday, Lindsay left Wonderland for her condo. On Wednesday, TMZ spies spotted her at Newsroom Cafe having lunch with friends. And of course, yesterday’s field trip. The buzz is that as early as today, Lindsay will be back shooting her movie full-time.

Her always in denial publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, says:

Lindsay is 100% not getting special treatment. She’s getting the same as everyone else. This isn’t the Betty Ford Clinic, it’s not a lockdown facility. There is personal time. All these naysayers who keep blogging and speaking out, like the ‘Today’ show, they don’t know what she’s going through, they’re not there. They shouldn’t speak until they’ve gone through something like that.”

So, I guess little Ms. Sloane Zelnick is calling me a “naysayer.” If I slayed dragons or lived in medieval times when this was considered an insult, this might offend me, but even then I’d still be trying to figure out what Lindsay’s publicist was talking about. What has Lindsay “gone through” exactly? Was she a P.O.W. or abducted by aliens at one point? No, she’s just a drunk. The only way rehab can help her is if they hold her hair while she pukes.

Lindsay and her diaper on January 25th:

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Lindsay Lohan took a break from rehab to get her Mercedes SL500 serviced yesterday, causing residents of the Wonderland treatment facility to complain that she is getting special treatment. Besides…
Fascinated By Your Link Toy By jenny January 26, 2007

George Clooney is slumming with Pamela Anderson [Dlisted] Jessica Biel hooks up with Justin Timberlake [Hollywood Rag] Scott Baio dishes all his dirt [A Socialite's Life] Janice Dickinson slams Mick…
Sharon Stone is Same Ol’ Same Ol’ By todd January 26, 2007
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If this was 1992 these pictures of Sharon Stone and her implants outside The Ivy in a see through shirt would have gone up first, but it’s 2007 and they’re only up because it’s a slow news day and because they’re a little pathetic. The Ivy is crawling with paparazzi all the time so this means that Sharon probably planned this. Good for her, I guess. Except when she left home, I don’t think she expected to hear, “Hey, no way, is that Sharon Stone?” “Dude, way, I thought she died two years ago.”

If this was 1992 these pictures of Sharon Stone and her implants outside The Ivy in a see through shirt would have gone up first, but it’s 2007 and they’re…
Britney Spears Doesn’t Have Time By jenny January 26, 2007
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City Rag is reporting on the Mike Walker’s visit to the Howard Stern show yesterday. Mike Walker talked about Britney Spears being a cheap tipper and told a recent story.

Britney Spears was picking up her car at an L.A restaurant and dumped a pile of change on the pavement while reaching for her ticket. When the valet pulled up with her car, she pointed at the change and said “there’s your tip” adding “Im sure there’s a lot of money over there but I don’t have time to pick it up” and making the poor dude scrape $5 in coin off the ground.”

Britney could have dropped her vagina on the ground along with all that change. Then all the guys in the hazmat suits would arrive, declare a state of emergency and shut down the entire block in order to clean up the mess. That wouldn’t have made for a very lucrative night for the valet guys. Sometimes you just need to be thankful for the little things in life, like a measly five bucks in change and being spared from watching Britney’s labia burn a hole in the pavement.

Alfalfa at a recording studio on January 19th:

City Rag is reporting on the Mike Walker’s visit to the Howard Stern show yesterday. Mike Walker talked about Britney Spears being a cheap tipper and told a recent story….
Paris Has More Sex Tapes and Herpes By todd January 25, 2007

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As we pointed out yesterday, all the videos that you weren’t going to pay $39.97 for has already leaked online. Yeah, it’s all basically what we thought. Paris Hilton naked and being a whore. Along with the leaked tapes, Page Six also reveals most of the items found in the storage facility:

* Prescription bottles for Hydrocodone, a painkiller similar to OxyContin used to manage anxiety disorders, post-party sleep aid Ambien and the herpes medication Valtrex.

* A medical bill from a Los Angeles clinic, billing an “Amber Taylor” – with the same birth date as Paris – for a miscarriage in March 2003.

* A journal analyzing her booze-fueled dreams.

* Several bank statements, including one with an ending monthly balance of just $9.26.”

Wait, there’s more:

Among the hours of video footage on the site is a series of short tapes of a naked Hilton being filmed by Joe Francis, the “Girls Gone Wild” creator, and her former fiance, Jason Shaw. Francis tapes the dazed and confused heirhead – first taking off her red bikini top on a yacht in St. Tropez, then later swooshing around in a bubble bath while he begs her to show him her body.”

Damn, this whore is a skank. The only thing missing is her threesome with Ray Lewis and a gorilla. I would write more but I can feel my T-cell count getting low.

All the videos are in one download here and there’s another all in one here.

Shorter downloads of parts of the tapes are at the following links:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10



Tags: Paris Hilton, video, racist, herpes, homophobia, cocaine, paris exposed

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As we pointed out yesterday, all the videos that you weren’t going to pay $39.97 for has already leaked online. Yeah, it’s all basically what we thought. Paris Hilton naked…
Katie Holmes is Modest By todd January 25, 2007
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It’s hard to look like a fairy princess when you’re wearing boxer briefs, but Katie Holmes almost pulled it off yesterday. This is the best she’s looked in about two years. Or maybe she just doesn’t look crazy because Tom Cruise isn’t around. Who the hell knows where he was. Probably sacrificing a baby koala or whatever insane stuff Scientologists do. She is wearing high heels, so his stilts probably didn’t fit in the limo.

It’s hard to look like a fairy princess when you’re wearing boxer briefs, but Katie Holmes almost pulled it off yesterday. This is the best she’s looked in about two…
Nicole Kidman Got a Boo Boo By todd January 25, 2007


Nicole Kidman and seven others, including actors, crew members, and stuntmen, were taken to a Los Angeles hospital today after the car they were riding in hit a light pole while shooting a scene from the upcoming film, The Invasion.
[Los Angeles police spokesperson Karen Smith] said all eight people were released from the hospital and did not suffer major injuries. The Los Angeles Police Department will likely conduct a routine traffic accident investigation into the crash, which occurred while a stunt driver was at the wheel of the car.”

This is why so many people quit acting, it’s just too dangerous. Slightly bumping into a light pole then getting a thirty car police escort to the hospital just isn’t worth it. You might even have to actually wait two or three minutes before all the people in the emergency room with real injuries get pushed down the list so you won’t have to wait. Think about it, don’t risk your life!

Thanks, Shawn, for the heads up!

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Nicole Kidman and seven others, including actors, crew members, and stuntmen, were taken to a Los Angeles hospital today after the car they were riding in hit a light pole…
John Mayer is Bored By todd January 25, 2007
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After months of denying their relationship, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have been spotted everywhere recently. According to reports, it isn’t because they’re in love, it’s because they want publicity. Page Six describes the couples recent visit to Nobu:

…despite the ruckus caused by their entrance, the two barely spoke on their Tuesday night date. “John was extremely quiet and didn’t speak a lot,” said a source, while Jessica “just gave a lot of puppy-dog looks and twirled and twisted her hair.” The two were seen holding hands, but Simpson left Mayer for 20 minutes while she “fixed herself up for the camera” before heading back to their hotel. The couple’s yoga-and-sushi-filled weekend in Miami marked the first of many planned trips together.

Jessica Simpson is only slightly smarter than a monkey who plays the cymbals, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise if her daddy is behind all of their “planned trips”. It’s obvious John Mayer has been hypnotized or drugged. When asked when they started dating he said, “Please…help…me…”

Jessica loitering around John Mayer’s tour bus:

After months of denying their relationship, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have been spotted everywhere recently. According to reports, it isn’t because they’re in love, it’s because they want publicity….
Jessica Simpson is Sagging By todd January 24, 2007
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I don’t know how they do it in other countries, but in America, sex symbols don’t normally have boobs like my grandma or Jessica Simpson. I’m not usually an advocate of girls getting plastic surgery, and although that is not true, Jessica might want to go ahead look into it because, uh…nipples shouldn’t point to the ground. From the side, it’s hard to tell where her boobs end and the stomach begins. Or when the baby kangaroo might jump out. All that’s missing from these pictures is the laundry basket on her head.

I don’t know how they do it in other countries, but in America, sex symbols don’t normally have boobs like my grandma or Jessica Simpson. I’m not usually an advocate…
Jennifer Lopez is Desperate By todd January 24, 2007
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Jennifer Lopez has reportedly turned her back on her Roman Catholic faith and has finally embraced Scientology. Supposedly, the conversion comes, not from a spiritual awakening, but rather for a desire to revive her dormant career. Two of her childhood mentors, both Catholic, have pretty much the same thing to say:

I question how much true faith she has in this religion,” says Deacon Dhoel Canals of Holy Family Catholic Church and Grammar School in Castle Hill, which boasts J.Lo as its most celebrated alumna.”She has done absolutely nothing for the community or the school that are part of her background. I feel the school is largely responsible for her success.”…He said that the only time Lopez, who owns a home on Long Island, returned to the campus was to use it as a backdrop for a TV segment with Diane Sawyer.”

Perhaps her background is not important to her,” says Sister Lucille Coldrick, principal of her old school, Preston High in Throgs Neck, where she graduated in 1987″…It is no coincidence that Coldrick also has abandoned hope of Lopez ever visiting Preston High – whose motto is “Virtue is a thousand shields” – to address the students. She has lost count of the number of times she has invited the star to deliver an inspirational speech, only to have her requests fall on deaf ears.”

Most of Hollywood is an empty, soulless void, so yeah, this makes sense. Scientology isn’t a religion, it’s a fad. It’s what failed actors do instead of waiting tables or parking cars. Lopez hasn’t been relevant in about six years, so she’d probably do anything about now. Like believing that aliens possess her body and spaceships in volcanoes. Jennifer Lopez would drown an orphan if she thought it would get her on the cover of a magazine.

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Jennifer Lopez has reportedly turned her back on her Roman Catholic faith and has finally embraced Scientology. Supposedly, the conversion comes, not from a spiritual awakening, but rather for a…