Keeley Hazell is a Porn Star

On what may be the greatest day in the history of man, Keeley Hazell’s sex tape has leaked online. I’ve never had a birthday, got Christmas presents, won the Super Bowl or found a magic lamp all on the same day before, but I imagine it’s not even close to how this guy must be feeling right now. Keeley Hazell is quite possibly the hottest woman on the planet, and he’s on tape with his penis in her mouth. He’s officially a greater hero than Batman. Nothing this guy could ever do will be in any better than this. He could discover life on Mars or stop global warming and they would still start the press conference by showing this tape.

Screen caps (very, very NSFW)