John Mayer is Bored

After months of denying their relationship, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have been spotted everywhere recently. According to reports, it isn’t because they’re in love, it’s because they want publicity. Page Six describes the couples recent visit to Nobu:

…despite the ruckus caused by their entrance, the two barely spoke on their Tuesday night date. “John was extremely quiet and didn’t speak a lot,” said a source, while Jessica “just gave a lot of puppy-dog looks and twirled and twisted her hair.” The two were seen holding hands, but Simpson left Mayer for 20 minutes while she “fixed herself up for the camera” before heading back to their hotel. The couple’s yoga-and-sushi-filled weekend in Miami marked the first of many planned trips together.

Jessica Simpson is only slightly smarter than a monkey who plays the cymbals, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise if her daddy is behind all of their “planned trips”. It’s obvious John Mayer has been hypnotized or drugged. When asked when they started dating he said, “Please…help…me…”

Jessica loitering around John Mayer’s tour bus: