This blind item piece of gossip recently appeared in Page Six of The New York Post: “This actress was always the goody goody. She has worked hard to change that image by doing less family friendly films and making sure to wear enough see through dresses on the red carpet. She wanted to lose the squeaky clean image to get better roles, but also to sell the idea that she was sexy and desirable to men. She has no desire for men, just wants the world to perceive her as a sex symbol. Everything was going according to plan until her last movie for which there were raves. There she met another actress and love was in the air. They were inseparable for the entire shoot and even got an apartment to share. Once filming ended, our actress decided to end the relationship for fear it would damage her career. The new lover who has been quietly out for sometime and is quite the scene stealer thinks our actress should get smart and stop pretending and start living.”
Most people would assume that this is about Jessica Biel, because they are jealous of what we have together, but the general consensus is that it’s Anne Hathaway. Although this kills the myth that gayness doesn’t strike twice (her brother is also gay), this makes her officially not boring. The “new lover” is supposedly either quietly out Heather Matarazzo (this sexy beast) who Hathaway met on The Princess Diaries movies or Emily Blunt from The Devil Wears Prada. According to IMDb, Matarazzo and Hathaway “still call each other frequently and hope to be friends for the rest of their lives.” Blunt calls Hathaway “her rock” and is “dating” singer Michael Buble. For the love of God, please let it be Emily Blunt, because you couldn’t smoke enough weed to understand why Anne Hathaway would let Dawn Weiner go down on her. It must’ve been some kind of trick. Like the time my Chemistry teacher told me it would only be gay if I was on the bottom. Turns out he was just saying that.
About the “see through dresses” (NSFW):
Emily Blunt, Michael Buble and Anne Hathaway at a The Devil Wears Prada premiere:
People dream of becoming a big stars so they can afford fancy houses and fancy cars, but it’s only Britney’s dream to drive that car to fucking McDonald’s. God, she needs to get into a hunting accident. There’s no reason she should be allowed to be a millionaire. If karma was real, she’d be taking night classes or having her uncle’s baby.
Here’s a clip from Thursday’s upcoming episode of the Thighyra Banks Show where Tyra thought it would be a good idea to respond to the people who called her a fat ass because of recent “unflattering” bathing suit photos by wearing the same swimsuit. The same swimsuit only in a different size because it’s obvious she starved herself for about two weeks so she could preach to us about self esteem. I guess things are a little different now that she’s 161 pounds. What she says is powerful and will almost make you cry until you realize she’s made millions from perpetuating the stuff she’s now complaining about. If a girl who looked like Tyra showed up at an America’s Next Top Model audition, I wonder if Tyra would even wait to put down the turkey leg and syrup before she pulled the lever to the trap door.
After meeting at the Golden Globes two weeks ago, Diddy and Sienna Miller have been seen together at clubs in Park City and New York all over each other. Sunday morning, paparazzi caught Diddy going inside Miller’s NYC apartment and leaving 45 minutes later (awww yeah), only to have Diddy come over and try to explain. Page Six reports Diddy got better results the previous night:
Page Six has learned that a Saturday night clubgoer at Crobar tried to take a photo of Combs and Miller dancing together…”After the girl took the photo, Diddy didn’t say or do anything,” a witness said. “By the time he was 20 feet away, one of the security guys handed the camera to the bouncer, the bouncer handed it to the girl, and the memory card was gone…Diddy obviously doesn’t want photos taken of him with Sienna.”
Gee, I wonder why Diddy would be trying so hard to cover up his blossoming romance with Sienna Miller? Oh, I know, it’s because Kim Porter, Diddy’s girlfriend, is sitting at home with his newborn twins. When asked how she felt, Kim Porter started making sounds like a cash register.
Sienna partying without pants at a Factory Girl premiere afterpary:
There’s a reason the sex scene between Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen in Factory Girl looks so real, it is. The pair had a brief fling during the month long shoot, and when it was time for reshoots six months later, they apparently picked up where they left off. New York Daily News says:
When it came time to shoot the love scene, word is the former lovers dispensed with the flesh-colored socks and pads favored by actors on less familiar terms. And, once the cameras were rolling, the two 25-year-olds fell into old habits…”It’s not simulated,” an insider tells us. “They’re really doing it.”
This is probably true because Sienna is famous for being an attention whore and her vagina is like Ellis Island when she gets on a movie set, so the only real mystery here is who Sienna picked last for the on-set gangbang. Probably the Mexican paint crew. Like Share Bear says, “Do your share of sharing!”
Britney Spears looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter. And is it possible for her to ever go out in public without some foul stain of undetermined origin on her clothes? Oh, but let’s not ignore the obvious here. We all want to talk about the nips. Those crooked, misdirected nipples of unusual size. It’s like the nipples want to be Britney’s eyes. And if Britney’s eyes grow any further apart, she’ll be able to hear out of them.
Here are the first promotional pictures of the upcoming London production of Equus, starring Daniel Radcliffe. The play, about a stable boy with a pathological fascination with the horses he mutilates, features Radcliffe fully nude on stage. Hopefully by then somebody will tell him about Nair.
There’s a line I’m not supposed to cross which would normally prevent me from doing posts like this, but I looked for the line and couldn’t find it. That’s because this is Paris Hilton (a.k.a. Amber Taylor) we’re talking about and there are no moral or ethical boundaries where she’s concerned. At this point Paris Hilton could cover herself in a candy coating, shove a 10 foot stick up her ass, call herself a heaven flavored lollipop and smart people still wouldn’t lick her. All of her STDs could band together and turn her into a giant, mutant mold spore and the dumb people will still have sex with her. Why? Because they’re dumb. Duh!
Thanks to Mark for sending these in!
Update: Here are a couple videos that finally uploaded featuring such great hits as, “We’re like two niggers,” and “I get fucked in the butt for coke!” Enjoy.
Update II: Aaand even more crap thanks to Sarah and Brian via email. Here’s Paris smoking pot, asking someone for “E” (ecstasy) and referring to an Asian guy at the party as “The Chink.” Bon appetit.
Britney Spears, who allegedly lost her virginity to Justin Timberlake, is reportedly desperate to get him back. Friends say she has been talking about Justin for months and supposedly only dated Isaac “Eyezik” Cohen to make Justin jealous. A source says:
Britney gets an ego boost by parading her piece of eye candy around! Britney hopes Justin will think more of her now she’s been seen with a successful guy like Isaac, because she isn’t hanging out with a loser like Kevin anymore. She wants to prove she can still land a good-looking and desirable guy.”
It’s unclear at this point what level of retard Britney is (she hasn’t been tested yet), but she’s probably somewhere between a frog and this can of Coke. Yeah, Justin’s gonna be real jealous. Isaac Cohen is Kevin Federline with a Star of David on his wifebeater. He’s so successful that no one has ever heard of him. Meanwhile, Justin is in a hotel somewhere with Jessica Biel’s panties in his teeth. Britney’s plan can’t go wrong!