Our good friends at City Rag caught the Howard Stern show this morning. The great Tina Fey was one of his guests and whilst discussing former Saturday Night Live guest hosts, told Howard that Paris Hilton was one of the worst and went as far as calling Paris a “piece of shit.” City Rag transcribed the rest of Tina’s awesome rant on Paris Hilton as follows:
She said Paris had “the hair of a fraggle”, and left “nasty wads of Barbie hair on the floor” from her “cheap weave”!
Tina caught Paris’s giant man hands and said they were as long as her forearm.
Paris actually takes herself seriously and “embraces her stupidity”.
She asked them to write a skit so she could play Jessica Simpson “because I hate her” “she’s fat”.
Paris was so uninterested in anyone else the staff had a bet to see if she would ask anyone something personal (like “how are you”).
She did at one point ask someone “is Maya Rudolph Italian?” (she’s half Black, half Jewish)”
I’m no theologian, per se, but I heard after a wretched case of constipation, God bent over the edge of a cloud and took a giant dump on our planet and that was how Paris Hilton was born. You can argue with me all you want, but according to the people I hired to follow everyone around and tell them they’re wrong, you’re wrong.
Crappy at the Casino Royale premiere: