Somebody kidnapped old Tara Reid, chewed her up and spit out this new and improved version on the red carpet on Saturday. Weird. It’s like this person is tear-assing around L.A. in a brand new Tara suit and the real Tara Reid is somewhere chained to a bed with a gag in her mouth – which she’s enjoying, natch. Because that’s how I like Tara. Drunk and Frankenslutty. This new one is creeping me out a little. She’s like the “girl” alien in Mars Attacks! who infiltrates the White House via Martin Short. If you see this Tara Reid person in person, be sure to play some Slim Whitman just to be safe.