I don’t know much about England except for what I read on tea boxes and see in James Bond movies, but they seem to have the market cornered on untalented white girls with huge tits. America has Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid. England has Kelly Brook, Keeley Hazell and Lucy Pinder. Michelle Marsh is what America would have instead of Ashlee Simpson if there was any justice in the world. I swore my history teacher told me that America won the Revolutionary War. I’m so confused.