Britney Spears is Only Sexy on Paper

A judge in Los Angeles Superior Court dismissed a lawsuit by Britney Spears yesterday after she attempted to sue US Weekly for libel, claiming the magazine fabricated a story about an alleged sex tape that featured her and K-Fed. The judge says the article was not defamatory because Spears has created her image as a whore already. TMZ reports:

In tossing out the suit, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Lisa Hart Cole ruled that the article wasn’t defamatory because Spears had, in her videos and reality TV series, “put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye.” Thus it would be unlikely for the magazine article to be found defamatory.”

In addition to possessing the intellect to pass the Bar exam, Judge Cole also has the power to bend the space-time continuum to go back in time to a place where Britney Spears was considered sexy. Here’s a hint: it’s not today. My penis couldn’t be less excited if Bigfoot released a sex tape.

Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh need to make a sex tape: