Tom Cruise Wore a GirdleBy jennyNovember 30, 2006
[Gallery not found]

Tommy, baby, don’t think you’re off the hook because Britney Spears’ crotch has dominated the gossip world this week. We still have room to make fun of you. And call you fat.

About Tom Cruise’s wedding costume:

The ‘Top Gun’ star is said to be a nervous eater and put on so much weight in the run up to his wedding to Katie Holmes he needed some help getting into his Armani suit. According to US gossip columnist Janet Charlton, a source at Armani said: “Tom packed on around twenty pounds in the past few months before the big event. He says he’s a ‘nervous eater’. “When Tom arrived in Rome, we hear thaView the profile for Katie Holmes on Celebrity Spotlightt Giorgio Armani was apoplectic because the wedding tux was too small. Armani personally tended to all the fittings while Tom’s pants were let out and various details were adjusted. The source added: “Tom wanted to look svelte so he didn’t protest when Giorgio suggested girdling Tom’s midsection so the jacket would fall properly. The corset was sewn into Tom’s undergarment.”

Where I come from, they call that “squeezing 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound sack.” They also call that “gay.”

Here’s the pig nosed waif at Tom and Katie’s wedding. It’s like somebody deflated Saturn and painted it black.

Source

Tommy, baby, don’t think you’re off the hook because Britney Spears’ crotch has dominated the gossip world this week. We still have room to make fun of you. And call…
Lindsay Lohan is an AlcoholicBy toddNovember 30, 2006
[Gallery not found]

Lindsay Lohan was spotted yesterday at 7:30 a.m. leaving an AA meeting near her apartment. A friend confirms she is trying to get sober:

She has attended several meetings and has hopefully decided to turn her life around – this time for good. She is out of control.” Lohan skipped Thanksgiving with her mom, Dina, and her family because she knew “someone would force an intervention on her.” So Dina – who likes a party almost as much as her wild-child daughter – has arrived in L.A. to convince Lindsay to stay home some nights. The actress is filming “The Best Time of Our Lives” with Keira Knightley for the next five weeks – and then, friends hope “she will really get serious about getting sober. And drop out of the limelight for a while.”

It would be good for Lindsay if she dropped out of the limelight for a while. It would be really good for us if she dropped about six feet, because it gets tiring trying to think of new ways to make fun of this skank every day. I guess I should feel bad that she’s in AA, but she’d be the same even if she wasn’t drunk all the time. Take away all her money and she’d be living under a bridge in L.A., calling her mom from a pay phone and hanging up really fast when she answered.

Lindsay Lohan at the GQ Man of the Year Awards:

Source

Lindsay Lohan was spotted yesterday at 7:30 a.m. leaving an AA meeting near her apartment. A friend confirms she is trying to get sober: She has attended several meetings and…
Lindsay Lohan is DiscreetBy toddNovember 29, 2006
[Gallery not found]

If I gave you three guesses as to which actress was photographed carrying diamond studded gold handcuffs out of a store, and you immediately didn’t say “uh, Lindsay Lohan?”, I’d punch you. Of course it’s going to be Lindsay. It was a ten foot walk to her car yet she managed about 42 poses. People who buy these things usually don’t want everyone to know they just bought them, but not our Lindsay. She’d put on antlers and have sex with a bear if she thought someone would point a camera at her.

If I gave you three guesses as to which actress was photographed carrying diamond studded gold handcuffs out of a store, and you immediately didn’t say “uh, Lindsay Lohan?”, I’d…
Snoop Dogg is Predictable. Again.By toddNovember 29, 2006
[SinglePic not found]

Snoop Dogg was arrested for the second time in less than two months at approximately 7:30pm last night outside NBC Studios after performing on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.” Gee, I wonder why?

Police say they found the rapper in possession of cocaine, a firearm and a large amount of marijuana. He was also cited for allegedly having a false compartment in his vehicle…Law enforcement officials tell TMZ the search warrant was conducted as part of an ongoing investigation into the Dogg’s arrest earlier this month at the Burbank Airport…”

It sure would be great if a rapper would get arrested for something other than a bag of weed and a gun. Like in a make believe world where DMX got pulled over and the cops found plutonium and his plans to his secret underground lair. Man, how did he build it under a volcano? That DMX is a genius!!

Source

Snoop Dogg was arrested for the second time in less than two months at approximately 7:30pm last night outside NBC Studios after performing on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”…
Your Link Gonna See Me ThroughBy jennyNovember 29, 2006

Is Kid Rock Mister Mom? [Dlisted] Lindsay can’t play with Paris anymore [Hollywood Rag] Scarlett Johansson is smoking [Egotastic] Hilary Duff got her chompers fixed [Hollywood Tuna] Madonna‘s adoption is…
Kevin Federline Cheated With a Porn StarBy toddNovember 29, 2006
[Gallery not found]

Reports are now surfacing that there was an actual reason that Britney filed for divorce from K-Fed. He was banging former porn star, Kendra Jade, for over a month. A source says:

Kev and Kendra had sex at their friends’ apartment multiple times, starting in early October…Their friend would phone Kendra and a few other girls to come hang out, and it would always end up with Kevin and Kendra heading off to the spare bedroom!”

A week ago, my hatred for this idiot would have overtaken me if I had heard this. Now, after seeing every part of his wife that I didn’t want to see, I can’t say I blame the dude. I’m surprised he wasn’t having sex with a donkey. His wife is a millionaire but looks like she entertains clients in a truck stop bathroom. At this point, I hope he takes her kids and every dime she has. Britney could start a religion and get burned alive by the FBI and she would seem less crazy than she does right now.

Source

Update: Bill was cool enough to send us this picture of Kendra Jade on stage wearing a “Spear Britney” shirt. Even though “harpoon” is more fitting than “spear” at this point, it’s still a great picture. Thanks, Bill!

Reports are now surfacing that there was an actual reason that Britney filed for divorce from K-Fed. He was banging former porn star, Kendra Jade, for over a month. A…
Cameron Diaz Finally Got Her Schnoz FixedBy jennyNovember 29, 2006
[Gallery not found]

Cameron Diaz has been walking around with a new nose. She finally had it done claiming it was because she hadn’t been able to breathe through it properly after she broke it while surfing in Hawaii. Which, of course, would be a great excuse if we didn’t know she’s always had a big man-honker. Meanwhile, she’s still infatuated with herself.

Cameron told Britain’s OK! magazine: “I don’t know if I do anything to annoy Justin. Nothing. I’m perfect. That’s probably what drives him crazy!”

You know what else would be perfect? If her plastic surgeon’s knife slipped and sliced off her head. I don’t think they make trash bags big enough to contain her Joker-mouth and her ego, but I’ll be more than happy to make a custom sized bag just for her. I’ll also make it sound proof in case she’s still able to giggle and babble incessantly even after she’s been decapitated. Then I’m going to buy a big, giant goal post and a big, giant extension for my foot so I can kick a big, giant field goal with her big, giant face. And it’ll be worth six points instead of three because it’s twice as awesome. Oh, one can only dream…

Here she is trying to hide her clear bandage and black eye on Nov. 21:

Source

Cameron Diaz has been walking around with a new nose. She finally had it done claiming it was because she hadn’t been able to breathe through it properly after she…
Rachel Zoe is a Good GuessBy toddNovember 28, 2006
[Gallery not found]

On a new blog entry posted this morning on Nicole Richie’s MySpace, she has written a not-so-blind item targeting her one time stylist and friend, Rachel Zoe:

X-RAY
BLIND ITEM:
What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist?
HINT: Her nickname is lettucecup…”

Ouch. Addition and spell check aside, Nicole Richie makes a good point. Rachel Zoe is a 44 year old stylist who is rumored to supply her clients (Richie, Lohan, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton, Keira Knightley, etc.) with illegal narcotics and an unhealthy body image. She may also be the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen. Honestly, she’s hideous. Zombies wouldn’t have the appetite to bite through her forehead. If I saw Rachel Zoe walking down the street I wouldn’t know whether to stake her through the heart or ask her if my belt matches my shoes.

Note: Nicole removed her blog entry since then, but TMZ also has the transcript.

On a new blog entry posted this morning on Nicole Richie’s MySpace, she has written a not-so-blind item targeting her one time stylist and friend, Rachel Zoe: X-RAYBLIND ITEM:What 35…
Borat Broke Up Pam and KidBy toddNovember 28, 2006
[Gallery not found]

Page Six is reporting that the “irreconcilable differences” cited in the divorce petition are really Kid Rock’s “male insecurity and major anger issues” according to a close friend of Anderson. The last straw was a private screening of Borat at Universal Studio chief Ron Meyer’s Beverly Hills house two weeks ago. Kid Rock didn’t like it:

The hugely popular film shows Sasha Baron Cohen – in character as Borat Sagdiyev – falling in love with Anderson after seeing her in a “Baywatch” rerun, then driving across America in order to propose marriage to her. Her friend tells Page Six, “Bob started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, ‘You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?’ – in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing. “Pam thought he could have a sense of humor about the movie. She was in on the gag from the very beginning and loved doing the movie. And on the eve of what was supposed to be a very positive thing, he made it an awful night. “Ever since that night, it has been icicles between them,” the friend relates. “Bob is just a very unhappy and angry man. Pam is very disenchanted and sad. You know, there are reasons why she never married him before. Those reasons disappeared while they were together on a boat in St. Tropez, but she knows now that they never went away. The reality is he is an insecure, angry man.”

Apparently, he’s also painfully optimistic. Pam’s had more condoms inside her than a gas station bathroom. If her playing pretend with Borat makes you jealous, you’ve got problems. She’s done worse things with your friend when you run to the store to get more beer. I’m not a marriage counselor, Kid, but your first clue should have been the rope you had to tie around your waist before you went down on her.

Page Six is reporting that the “irreconcilable differences” cited in the divorce petition are really Kid Rock’s “male insecurity and major anger issues” according to a close friend of Anderson….
Britney Spears Has a New BoyfriendBy toddNovember 27, 2006

[Gallery not found]
[Gallery not found]

You’d think after finally ditching Kevin Federline, Britney Spears would be doing anything she could to regain any shred of relevance she once had. Then you’d realize you just said “Britney Spears” and slap yourself, because well you see, Britney and Paris Hilton have been hanging out together now for a whole week. Sometimes with panties and sometimes without. After spotting them at Hyde on Friday night, a source tells People:

Paris was acting like Britney’s boyfriend. She opened doors for her, held her hand, and even had her arm around Britney’s lower back. Britney happily accepted Paris’ friendly gestures.”

Of all the people in Hollywood, Britney has chosen to run around with this whore. Child molesters make better life choices. Seriously, nothing could be worse than what she’s doing right now. Britney could’ve dug up Hitler and carried him around at parties and it would have made more sense than this does right now.

Tags: upskirt, vagina, crotch, britney spears

You’d think after finally ditching Kevin Federline, Britney Spears would be doing anything she could to regain any shred of relevance she once had. Then you’d realize you just said…