You probably don’t know who Bianca Gascoigne is (don’t worry, I didn’t either), but she was on Love Island and she’s friends with Ashlee Simpson, so her rocket ship to stardom is taking off fast. That means somebody might want to pull her aside and have a talk with her. Like, right now. After looking at these pictures, my guess is her boyfriend won’t mind giving you her number.
Demi Moore, 43, who claims to keep her tight body through diet, yoga, and kick-boxing, has undergone yet another cosmetic surgery – to remove saggy skin from her old lady knees. She reportedly went to famed surgeon Brian Novack, who has made an estimated $420,000 just from Demi Moore surgeries, to correct her new problem area. A source says:
Demi went to Brian Novack, who has already done work on her,” a source close to the actress said. “He is a fantastic surgeon and his clients don’t look like they’ve had surgery. Demi couldn’t stand it that there was any part of her that is not perfect. She is also sensitive about her age, although Ashton has told her million times he doesn’t care about what she looks like because he loves her. A lot of her friends were trying to talk her out of having more surgery. Worrying about her knees, of all things, is just silly. She’s lucky that’s the only part of her left to sag!”
It takes a lot to make a 43 year old mother of three look 30. Namely, liposuction to her hips, inner and outer thighs and stomach, breast implants, rhinoplasty, breast lift, brow lift, chemical peel, collagen injections, veneers, laser whitening, and knee surgery. All of which is what Demi Moore had done. As a kid, Demi spent most of her time in a trailer park wearing an eyepatch because of multiple operations to her [wonky] eye, so it doesn’t take Dr. Phil to understand what this chick’s issues are. But even the Millennium Falcon didn’t require this much maintenance.
Ashton and Demi at the 10th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala on Oct 23rd:
Lindsay Lohan’s future neighbors in the West Hollywood condo community of Sierra Towers haven’t met her, but they already hate her. The multi-million dollar condos, where 60% of the residents are 60 or older, is a desirable place to live because it’s private and quiet. The residents feel like Lohan will be, well, herself. A resident said:
We’ve always had celebrity residents, but all of them either lead quieter lives or are barely ever here. Everyone thinks she’ll be having parties, and I’m sure she will. Beyond the noise factor, it’s a security issue. Look at the type of and number of people she hangs out with. We don’t want them roaming the building…This is not going to end well. Mark my words, she’ll be made miserable by the complaints and leave. Hopefully she won’t move in at all.”
Lohan has already invited Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to the building for a photo op, and it ended up with paparazzi flocking to the building and blocking the street and the main entrance. Great. It must be nice knowing that you’ll have to lock yourself in your $4 million retirement pad because you’re scared Lindsay Lohan will come to your door at 3 a.m. holding her ass and asking you if you have any pliers or butter.
These pictures of Nicole Richie dancing on a table are from last week but the hi-res versions just popped up, so I hope you haven’t eaten yet. I want stare between this creature’s legs about as much as I want to stare at a gun in my face. The only way my crotch would ever touch Nicole Richie’s is if my penis magically turned into a fly.
In a recent poll, Paris Hilton was voted as the person horror movie fans would most like to see die on screen. Paris took this honor by beating out Lindsay Lohan and others by garnering 39% of the vote. In her horror movie debut in last year’s House of Wax, Paris was stabbed in the brain with a pole. Apparently this was a compliment to Paris:
My death scene is really cool. It’s the coolest death scene in the movie.”
Leave it to Paris to think the five minutes she was in the movie would put House of Wax on some sort of AFI list. The scene was only cool because you died. You weren’t #1 in this poll because people want to see you in more horror movies, you were #1 because people want to see you die. If you walked into a North Carolina gun show with Osama Bin Laden and Louis Farrakhan, the hardest decision people would have to make is deciding which one of those two to frame.
Paris in Palma de Mallorca, Spain on October 18th:
Chicks from MTV’s “Real World” rarely show up here, and this is usually the only way it happens. So congratulations, Robin Hibbard (Real World: San Diego), you win. Posing naked in a shower with your enormous implants puts you in front of the line. I could lie and say these pictures were taken yesterday, but I have no idea how old these are and I really don’t care. Neither should you. She has huge boobs. Elizabeth Blackwell was the first licensed female physician in the United States, but this is the only time I’ve mentioned her, too. And that’s only because I’m trying to prove guys can sound kinda smart when they have erections.
Brown Bunny director, Vincent Gallo, has been spending a lot of time lately with another quasi-celebrity, Cory Kennedy. Kennedy, a girl who’s famous in L.A. for allegedly being the girlfriend of 30-something photographer, The Cobrasnake, has changed her last name to “Gallo” on her MySpace and devotes posts in her blog to the director. Gallo is 45, Kennedy is 16. Not sounding creepy at all, Gallo explains their relationship:
With the psychotic, middle-aged Madonna out there on the loose buying up all the stolen Negro babies in Africa, I felt it my social and humanitarian duty to take in any young, beautiful and sexy orphaned Jew teens running wild in Beverly Hills. Cory’s a great kid, and I’m proud to be her daddy.”
When he’s not getting blowjobs on screen or selling his sperm on eBay for $1 million, Gallo apparently spends his time trying to have sex with 16 year olds. I’m not saying Gallo is a sick freak, but if he suddenly woke up in an elementary school, chances are he’d be in the closet, hanging by his belt with his pants around his ankles.
Rush Limbaugh accused Michael J. Fox of exaggerating and faking his symptoms related to Parkinson’s disease after the actor appeared in a TV ad for Missouri Senate challenger Claire McCaskill, a candidate who supports stem-cell research. Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1991 and through his foundation, has raised millions of dollars for research that will promise improved therapies and ultimately a cure for people living with Parkinson’s. From behind his microphone on his syndicated radio show, Limbaugh said:
He is moving around and shaking, and it is purely an act.”
Later, Limbaugh offered a half-hearted apology but tempered it by saying that Fox was letting his condition be exploited. Rush Limbaugh didn’t say if he was faking in 2001 or not when he went almost completely deaf and went on the air talking like somebody who was punished for lying in the Middle East. But instead of having a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system like Fox has, Limbaugh went deaf because he was addicted to OxyContin and Hydrocodone. To prove his theory, Limbaugh should totally let Fox perform his next ear surgery. Michael J. Fox would be like Zorro without all that unnecessary blade control.
Wasn’t Heidi Klum in Spin City? Why yes, yes she was.
Although “Sutton Pierce” has been the widely accepted name of Britney Spears’ and Kevin Federline’s second son, rampant rumors have been swirling that the baby is in fact a girl named Jayden James. Neither Britney nor K-Fed have confirmed these rumors, but now we no longer have to wait to find out. TMZ has a copy of the birth certificate, and the kid is a boy named Jayden James Federline.
Well, whatever. Like it matters. If it was a girl, instead of robbing gas stations, she’ll be a pregnant stripper with daddy issues. In junior high, her guidance counselor is just going to give her a banana and an instruction manual then wish her luck.