Michael Jackson Sure is Purty

Michael Jackson was caught for about the fourth time this year dressed in drag. Here’s the latest pile of fresh shit Michael Jackson’s handlers are feverishly trying to stuff back in the horse:

The ‘Thriller’ singer was seen in St Tropez, France, wearing a ruffled blouse, tight jeans and stilettos – hiding his face under a huge floppy blue hat and carrying a fluorescent orange handbag. One onlooker revealed: “His physique has completely changed. He was wearing tight jeans and had a curvy bottom and thighs.” Jackson was walking with a young girl – reported to be his eight-year-old daughter Paris – and some people mistook the musical legend for a woman. A source told Britain’s The Sun newspaper: “I noticed them as the ‘woman’ had an enormous Audrey Hepburn-type hat. I saw the girl was dressed similarly and thought it was a mum-daughter thing. They sat down and I froze as I saw ‘her’ face and twigged it was not only a ‘him’ but it was Michael Jackson.”

So he’s gone from looking like Joe Jackson to looking like Katherine Jackson, to looking like Diana Ross to looking like Janet Jackson, to looking like Peter Pan, to looking like a dead rotting corpse, to looking like Audrey Hepburn’s dead rotting corpse. And yet, he’s still a fashion nightmare. Audrey would have rolled in her grave, but was too busy putting more money on Elizabeth Taylor in the graveyard’s Celebrity Death Pool.

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Note: Michael is reportedly vacationing in the South of France and is a guest of Prince Alwaleed who is a nephew of Saudi Arabia’s King Fahd.