Kate Moss Is Clean and Sober

Kate Moss attended her crackhead boyfriend Pete Doherty’s concert in Ireland last night, and was spotted by several witnesses with a white substance in and around her nose. Onlookers at the sold-out Babyshambles show, speculated it was talc, toothpaste, or zit cream. Now, I’m not saying it’s cocaine, but if somebody was holding a gun to my head and I could only give one answer, I’d say it was cocaine. No, actually, I’ll just go ahead and say it now. It’s cocaine. Why? Because Pete Doherty and Kate Moss are addicts with the willpower of R. Kelly when he has to pee. They could get a letter covered in anthrax and think they just won the lottery.

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