Even More VMAs Crap

Here’s Justin Timberlake. There isn’t much to say about these other than thank God his joker-faced, jackass girlfriend isn’t next to him. She was too busy hanging out with her band.

Wha choo know abou daa, wha choo know abou daa, wha choo know abou daa… I know I hate that song because it gets stuck in my head for about seven days straight every time I hear it. I’d rather listen to an entire kindergarten class scrape forks on plates for hours. At least my IQ wouldn’t drop from listening to the lyrics. Love the hat, TI. The chances of him cutting eye-holes in that thing, pulling it over his face and robbing convenience stores in two years when nobody cares about him anymore are about 100%.

Okay, Morticia, you could really benefit from toning down this casting spells, watched The Craft too many times look. I realize that’s your thing and Evanescence‘s whole thing is this stuff, but you’re surprisingly good looking. The dark hair with the light eyes thing is hot, although a couple shades lighter than “Death Corpse 5” or whatever color that is would be a little nicer. Your singing voice is as annoying as Shakira’s so let’s bottle up that pretty and preserve it for when the band’s shelf life expires and your imminent Maxim shoot is upon us. Of course, if you ever want to release a sex tape a-la Paris Hilton, I have a video camera, incense, black candles, crystal ball, plastic skulls, studded belts and a whole bunch of other shit I bought at your fans’ favorite store, Hot Topic, so you’ll feel comfortable.