“Paris” Sucks

In the first week of its release, Paris Hilton’s self-titled CD, Paris, is being widely considered by many music insiders to be a complete and utter failure. With only 75,000 copies sold in the United States, next week’s projected sales are said to drop significantly to 30,000. In comparison, Christina Aguilera’s “Back to Basics” churned out first-week sales of 320,000.

Paris” is languishing at the bottom of Billboard’s Hot 100 – so Hilton’s label rushed out her second single, “Turn It Up,” which isn’t doing very well either. “The international outlook is not much better for her,” one industry source told Page Six. “The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can’t back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can’t sing live.” The source added that Hilton was advised a year ago to train her voice, work with choreographers and learn an instrument to prepare for a limited tour, but “obviously she didn’t listen.”

If this really comes as a surprise to you, I hope you’re enjoying your first visit to this site. We’re glad to have you. Since we’ve just met, I’m not sure what kind of music you’re into, but you’re safe in assuming that I’d rather listen to werewolves attack an orphanage than anything on Paris Hilton’s album.

Paris and new BFF, Kim Kardashian, shopping on Melrose on August 27th:

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