More Emmys Crap

Being bored to sleep (or to death) wasn’t on my “To Do” list last night so I missed the Emmys. The five minutes of Conan and Colbert being funny wasn’t enough to reel me in for the next seven hours of ass kissing and commercials, but here are some pictures from the event we haven’t yet posted.

Here’s Katherine Heigl. She’s on yet another show I won’t watch. People keep saying she looked “smokin’ hot” last night. The dress is sort of gaudy in that soap opera sort of way where the rich housewife is sitting around on her couch drinking her 11 a.m. glass of champagne in full makeup and gown while eyeballing Jorge, the pool boy. Or maybe that’s the porn I fell asleep watching last night. I don’t know. Whatever. All I know is when she puts her left arm down, her armpit/boob area looks like a pack of hot dogs and that’s kinda gross. Unless, of course, you’re Jeffrey Dahmer.

Here’s Bai Ling and yet another intentional (NSFW) “nip slip.” She’s so damn retarded and boring I can’t even think of anything new or funny to say about her. The first draft of this went something like “Yawn, yown, yahn, yarn, yaghn, yeihn, yon, Ian, Jan, Yanni…” so I’ll just stick with that.

There are only so many ways a big, yappy mouth should be used and one of them is not to promote Scientology. Ever since Leah Remini allowed VH1 to broadcast the birth of her first child and preach/promote her “silent birth” bullshit Scientology practice I lost all respect for her. Okay, who am I kidding? I didn’t give a crap who she was before that and I still don’t. The plants behind her are nice, though.