And guess what? They’re brown and typical, and how most of you thought they’d look. Not me, though. She’s been a long haired blonde for years so I was expecting some pink ones, a Lynyrd Skynyrd CD in her hand and a NASCAR sticker on her ass. I yelled “Cracker!” at my monitor really loud but that didn’t work. Turns out I’m just racist and have a Saltine fetish.