Here’s Jessica sporting her clown afro wig again on the cover of Maxim magazine. Man, you really gotta hand it to those photo editing geniuses at Maxim. They gave her bigger, fuller, perkier boobs and even managed to make her face look a lot less mannish. It must have taken days. Months, even. Naturally, I went ahead and grabbed my hammer and chisel and brought her back to what she looked like before all this doctoring. Of course I left that enhanced chest alone, for I’m no prude. I still need to read the article so I know why Maxim thinks she’s one of the “World’s Most Horrifying Pets.” I mean, I know she’s hard to look at from the neck up most of the time, but that was mean spirited of you, Maxim. For shame.
Jessica on June 11th: