Lindsay Lohan is Running Out of Luck

If the weekend box office receipts for Lohan’s new film, Just My Luck, are any indication, she’ll be posing in Playboy or giving out lapdances in the lobby of the Chateau Marmont pretty soon. With an estimated return of $5.5 million at 2,541 locations ($2,164 per location), this is the lowest opening weekend of any Lohan vehicle, besting the $9.4 low of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. According to studio research, 80 percent of the moviegoers were female and 70 percent were under 25.

My guess is that a bunch of junior high girls spent their boyfriend’s allowance to go see this crap. So, if my math is right, in about 5 years, Lohan’s career will be over. Lindsay might be a role model when you’re reading The Baby-sitter’s Club and giving your first hand job during 7 Minutes in Heaven, but when you’re 25, you realize that the girl at the party who’s bent over the couch and passed out with her skirt over her head probably didn’t get the kind of attention she was hoping for. Unless, of course, that girl is Lindsay Lohan, then the skirt was just kind of a formality.

Lohan with Joe “Girls Gone Wild” Francis: