Katie Holmes Was Stretched

I’m guessing in the paparazzi world this would be considered a “money shot” because it helps prove Katie might have really been pregnant all that time. Either that, or Tom’s studio make-up artists are working overtime. I’m more interested in what I imagine is the 3 foot tall photographer who took these photos. Why are there not more of those? I realize there’s an obvious trample factor to deal with when you’re in a crowd with your fellow parasites snapping away at these celebrities, but I have a solution for that. Put the little people in porcupine costumes. Then any time one of those other photogs tries to push them out of the way, they’ll get stabbed by the quills. My original thought was a blowfish costume, but we tested those down in the lab and they’d either overinflate and explode, or Igor, who thinks he’s funny, would use helium and the little people would float away. Chances are pretty good you’ve seen one or two flying over your house or tangled in your tree.