Jessica “Camel Toe” Simpson Goes Shopping

The vortex of suck that is Jessica Simpson is not limited to her inability to act or dress and her crappy, popularized via Payola music. Clearly, her vagina also does a significant amount of sucking as evidenced by its engulfing her paint-on stretch pants she wore out shopping a few days ago. Alas, no amount of public displays of crotch-wedgie picking could rescue those pants. There’s no word yet on what it looks like in there, but I’ve always pictured it as something like a bear trap which makes a rattlesnake sound when you go near it. Joe Simpson should really consider patenting that thing.

By jenny, May 01, 2006 0 comments